And Ash Rained Down On Asgard
by AimeeCollins
Summary: An icy curse lies upon the second prince of Asgard, and his only hope for a cure is the Frost Giant king, Laufey... [AU] [Lokane]
1. Chapter 1

**I've been writing this for over a year now, and it still isn't finished. I'm at chapter 18 now, so there's more than enough time to finish the story before we reach that. I'm excited either way, because this is my first big story that looks like I'll actually finish it. I'll publish a new chapter once a week and answer questions or respond to comments regularly.  
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**I've tried to make the story fit in with the movie, but I just had to change things that wouldn't make sense if I didn't. **

**Only the first and the last chapter will have titles and songs (at the start of the chapter).  
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**Description: _To an outsider, _And Ash Rained Down On Asgard _seems to be just like the movie. But an insider will glance into Loki's world and see that all is not what it seems... An icy curse lies upon the second prince of Asgard, and his only hope for a cure is the Frost Giant king, Laufey..._**

**Do let me know what you think!  
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**A-A-R-D-O-A**

_I can't feel my senses  
>I just feel the cold<br>All colours seem to fade away  
>I can't reach my soul<br>I would stop running, if knew there was a chance  
>It tears me apart to sacrifice it all but I'm forced to let go<em>

_Tell me I'm frozen but what can I do?_  
><em>Can't tell the reasons I did it for you<em>  
><em>When lies turn into truth I sacrificed for you<em>  
><em>You say that I'm frozen but what can I do?<em>

_I can feel your sorrow_  
><em>You won't forgive me,<em>  
><em>but I know you'll be all right<em>  
><em>It tears me apart that you will never know but I have to let go<em>

_Tell me I'm frozen but what can I do?_  
><em>Can't tell the reasons I did it for you<em>  
><em>When lies turn into truth I sacrificed for you<em>  
><em>You say that I'm frozen but what can I do?<em>

_Everything will slip way_  
><em>Shattered pieces will remain<em>  
><em>When memories fade into emptiness<em>  
><em>Only time will tell its tale<em>  
><em>If it all has been in vain<em>

_I can't feel my senses_  
><em>I just feel the cold<em>  
><em>Frozen...<em>  
><em>But what can I do?<em>  
><em>Frozen...<em>

_Tell me I'm frozen but what can I do?_  
><em>Can't tell the reasons I did it for you<em>  
><em>When lies turn into truth I sacrificed for you<em>  
><em>You say that I'm frozen, frozen...<em>

- "Frozen" Within Temptation

**- - - And Ash Rained Down On Asgard Chapter 1: FROZEN**

"How much longer must I be your slave, your spy? I have given you information since the day that Thor was made the crown prince, and yet you still make use of me!"

It hadn't really been his intention to yell at Laufey, the Frost Giant king of Jotunheim. And mere seconds after the heated words left his lips, Loki knew that it had been a big, big mistake. There was nothing that he could do about it now though, for it was not possible to take the words back, not now that they had already done their effect.

The Frost Giant's blue face twisted into an expression of anger and his red eyes burned with fire in Loki's way. The second prince of Asgard remained where he stood, even though he wanted to cringe underneath the Frost Giant's seething look, and all he did rock back and forth on his heels. The God of Mischief couldn't really help this movement, for from the minute that he'd set foot on the Realm of Jotunheim, where the Frost Giants lived, alertness and the instinct to flee had followed in his wake, ever present, ready to make him whirl around and hightail out of there.

"You have no right to address me in such ways!" the Frost Giant spat, and Loki couldn't hide his trembling hands, the tremor that the Frost Giant's growling voice brought forth inside him. He wished that he was anywhere but here, in Asgard's library, or saving his brother's stupid behind, even if that meant that he would have to take blame and receive the Allfather's punishment. Anywhere but here, on the cold Realm of Jotunheim, where the biting frostbite did not cause his skin to go black in death, but blue in the curse that had been put upon him instead.

"I am son of Odin, brother of Thor, the God of Thunder! _You_, Laufey, have no right to use me for your own bidding!" Loki roared back, even though he knew that it was a mistake, that he would surely regret it later. Sure enough, the Frost Giant king roared and jumped out of his icy throne, seething with anger. Loki expected a waterfall of ice and snow to befall upon him, but to his surprise Laufey slowly walked towards him, pacing his step in such way that Loki's imagination had more than enough time to go out of its way to think of the various punishments that the Frost Giant could sentence him to.

"I- I apologize!" Loki stammered, when Laufey reached out to grasp his arm. The God of Mischief hated apologizing, especially for his own deeds, especially when his actions hadn't been wrong at all, but now the situation was different, the punishment that he would receive was much too high for such a seemingly small action of insubordination.

"No, please! No!" Loki begged, but Laufey had already grasped his arm in his tight, icy grip. He tried to resist, he squirmed against the harsh icy grip, but he could do nothing of the frostbite that slowly seeped through his thick clothes. It seeped through his skin, where it further wormed its way through his veins and arteries, towards his heart, where it nestled itself to rest, waiting for the time when the sun would finally melt it.

Loki knew what he must look like now. His skin icy blue, his eyes scorching red. He looked like a Frost Giant, and he would look like that until the ice that encased his heart would melt, or until Laufey felt it fit to end the punishment. It would take maybe two, three days before his skin would regain its healthy albeit pale complexion, before his eyes would be the emerald green they naturally were once more. Up until that time he would have to constantly focus his energy to cast and uphold an illusion, that would make him _look_ like he was still the second prince of Asgard, brother of Thor and son of Odin Allfather, instead of a small Frost Giant.

"Heed this warning, Loki Odinson." Laufey said, his eyes still burning but his face emotionless. He never seemed to smile, his lips never seemed to break out of their usual thin line, and the only time that Loki had seem him delighted was when he had found out about the curse that had been placed upon him and told him that they could make a deal that would benefit them both.

"You may go. You have told me enough." the Frost Giant said. Loki turned around at once, and ran towards the place where he knew the passage to Asgard to be. He slipped various times, and each time he had to grip sharp shards of ice and cold rocks to regain his balance, and each time that he was not affected by the frostbite that lingered on the Realm, the God of Mischief cringed and wished that he had never shown the Frost Giants a way into Asgard.

It had only been meant as a joke, as a bit of mischief. The Frost Giants were supposed to come in, interrupt Thor's ceremony in which he assumed his title as Asgard's first and crown prince, and then they would be slayed by the Destroyer. That _had_ happened, yes, but during the battle one of the Frost Giants had touched Loki, causing his skin to become blue and his eyes to become red.

'You are cursed.' the Frost Giant had said, before Loki had roared and impaled him with his sword. The moment the beast had released him and collapsed on the floor lifelessly, the blue hue on his skin had retreated and he'd been himself once more. Somehow the king of Jotunheim had received word of the second prince of Asgard, and he had send word to him, knowing that Loki would want nothing more than to forget about the battle, about this curse that he knew nothing more about than that it turned his skin blue and his eyes red when a Frost Giant touched him.

Upon entering the cold Realm of Jotunheim, Loki had discovered, to his absolute horror, that staying in the frozen land long enough for the frostbite to creep into his skin would activate this curse. He'd stumbled upon Laufey, exhausted and halfway into shock, and begged the Frost Giant king to remove the curse. Laufey then had offered him a deal that he could not refuse: he would act as an informant to the Jotun, a spy in Asgard, and when the Casket of ancient Winters rested safely in Jotunheim once again, the king would remove Loki's curse.

Loki almost stepped through the passage, one foot raised and ready to be put down, when he remembered his current appearance and nearly collapsed. Weaving the illusion in such way that it would last without having to pay much attention to it was hard for Loki, and knowing that it would crumble around him when he slept was even harder. He would have to lock his door by physical and magical means when he got the chance, so that no-one would find out about this curse.

A tear found its way out of the corner of Loki's eye, and he quickly brushed it away, before another and another would fall until he was really crying. He refused to weep over something that he could not control: in this twisted game that Laufey played, this game with the Casket as prize, Loki was but a pawn. A pawn that could be picked up whenever the players wished, and that could be put down at whatever position that pleased them.

The Jotun could not find this passage without the help of a powerful sorcerer, and thankfully Loki was the only sorcerer that the Jotun had access to. Loki wiped the remaining tears away, pulled his cloak tighter around him and stepped through the secret passage that only he knew about.

**A-A-R-D-O-A**

"Father, we _must_ attack the Jotun!" Thor boomed, just a few weeks after the incident. It was not the first time that Thor had tried to convince his father to wage war on Jotunheim, and Loki forced himself to remain calm, to not cringe, for his expression to remain unreadable. The Allfather, an old but strong man with thick, silvery locks that poured down from his head and rested on his shoulders in loose waves, watched his firstborn son with a calm and somewhat bored expression.

The King's ever alert blue eyes followed his son, while the young man with golden locks paced through the room, weighting his magical hammer in his hands. The hammer was constantly switched between his hands, and Loki felt nausea rise in his stomach. He knew that look on his brother's face, and he knew that it could not mean any good.

"And what is the reason for this sudden eagerness for war?" the Allfather asked calmly, his eyes trained on his firstborn son. Loki sighed in relief: their father would talk sense into Thor and there would be no war between Jotunheim and Asgard.

Thor stopped in his tracks and stared unbelievably at his father, his face flushed red with sudden anger and his unyielding eyes burning.

"How can you be so calm, while they disgraced me! Disgraced _you_! They intruded Asgard, they interrupted my long awaited ceremony!" Thor seethed.

"Long awaited for a reason." Loki muttered underneath his breath, and his brother threw him a look that would surely have caused him to drop down dead, had looks been lethal. Thankfully for Loki, looks did not kill, not until his brother finally gained interest in sorcery and mastered the art of killing with eyes. Loki had refrained from learning that art, for it stemmed out of anger and hatred, and Loki was angry often. He did not want to accidentally _kill_ the subject of his rage, however.

"The Frost Giants that invaded Asgard are dead. All of them! They have already paid for what they've done." the Allfather resumed, as if Loki hadn't interrupted them.

"Paid how, father?!" Thor challenged. The old and wise King sighed and shook his head, his expression one of disappointment and worry. Loki entertained himself with the thought that, perhaps, the king finally doubted his decision to name his firstborn son as the heir to the throne. He remembered the words from years ago, many hundreds years before his encounter with the Frost Giants and the curse, when his father had shown them the Casket of ancient Winters and told them of its story.

_You were both born to become king._

When Loki was little, he had indeed dreamt of inheriting the crown. But when he had started studyingsorcery, Loki had abandoned that dream and thrust himself on magic studies with his entire being, determined to master every art there was of it, with the exception of only a few that Loki either feared he would not be able to control or that which he deemed no use to learn.

Of course his brother had tauntingly accused him of being unmanly. He'd been only jesting, of course, and Loki had let it slide without paying much attention to it.

"They paid with their lives!" the king roared, for once losing his calm composure. He stood up from his throne and towered over Thor and Loki. Thor didn't cringe, he didn't back away or apologize. Instead of doing what would have been sensible and smart, Odin's firstborn son looked up at his father with anger and disappointment in his eyes.

Thor opened his mouth to protest, and Loki cringed. Could his brother not stop? Did he not see that arguing with their father was fruitless? By no doubt, Thor was about to say something insulting, something that would be unforgivable, but Odin cut him off before he even began.

"They have paid with their lives. The Destroyer did its work, the Casket is safe, and all is well. And that is the end of it." the king said calmly on a tone that had the power to end any conversation, looking even taller and mightier than before. Loki feared that their father was about to run out of patience, and that they would both be punished for a misstep that only one brother had made.

"All is well? They broke into the weapons vault! If the Frost Giants have stolen even one of these relics..." Thor replied, but his sentence was cut short once more by the king.

"**THEY DIDN'T**!" Odin Allfather's voice thundered through the throne room. Loki swore that he heard thunder rolling outside and when he spared a glance through the nearest window, he indeed saw dark clouds gathering.

"Well I want to know why!" Thor roared back, the fool, the idiot. Did he not see that he had awakened the Allfather's rage, his thorn? Did he not know that now they would _both _be punished? Loki glanced around as inconspicuously as he could, looking for a way out. Odin and Thor ignored him, or perhaps they had simply forgotten that Loki was there.

Loki's eyes slid past his hands, and when they did, his heart nearly stopped. He abruptly wove another illusion around himself, this one ten times stronger than the first, and felt his heat begin to beat faster, stronger, in an attempt to keep up with the enormous amount of magic that coursed through his veins. He sighed in relief when his hands, and his face and eyes by no doubt, regained their normal colour. He was so relieved that he nearly missed what the Allfather said next.

"I have a truce with Laufey, king of the Jotun." the king said, less loud this time, because he must've realized the effect that his strong emotions had on the weather.

"He just broke your truce! They know you are vulnerable!" his brother said, obviously still seething. He started pacing again, weighting his hammer in his right hand, his favourite throwing hand. Completely irrelevant and not related to the matter at hand in the slightest, Loki suddenly realized that he used his left hand for nearly everything – writing, the few times that he wielded a weapon, picking things up, holding things. He had never put much thought in it before, but now it suddenly seemed important enough for his mind to not let go of the thought.

For once Loki had to agree with his brother. He was right, the Jotun had broken their truce, but not in the way that Thor thought. The king sighed and sank back into his throne, obviously tired of this argument.

"What action would you take?" the king asked, sounding very old and tired, defeated almost. Loki narrowed his eyes, knowing that this must be some kind of a test for Thor, to test him if he was ready to become the crown prince. He feared for his brother, feared for him to not recognize the test and fail it.

Indeed, Thor did not recognize the importance of his words, of perhaps he did and he just wanted to make his point, for the God of Thunder's face twisted with anger and eagerness as he said:

"March into Jotunheim as you once did! Teach them a lesson! Break their spirits, so they would never dare try to cross our borders again!"

The king's reaction was instant and frightening beyond reason. Odin jumped out of his throne and slammed his spear to the ground, which unleashed thunder, rain and lightning in unison. The ground shook with the king's boundless rage and Loki cringed against the wall, his hands trying and failing to find something to hold on to.

His hands slipped off the smooth stones of the palace and before he knew it, the world was upside down. He pushed himself up just as his father began to speak again, putting emphasis on his words by slamming his spear to the ground again. Every time he did that, the ground shook, and Loki and Thor were thrust on the ground once more.

"Enough! You think only as a warrior!"

**BANG!**

"I was a fool, to believe that you were ready!"

**BANG!**

"Would you truly end the lives of many, just because a few of them took none of ours?"

**BANG!**

"You are a fool! But a boy, seeking every chance to fight!"

**BANG!**

Loki and Thor were thrust to the floor again and Loki started trembling so badly that he thought that he would cause his own earthquake in the palace. This was not going well. Not well at all. He knew that he had to do something, or else either Thor or their father would do something that they would regret later. He pushed away the fear that he felt and jumped up, leaning against the wall for support, for the palace still shook with the aftershock of Odin's rage.

"Father!" Loki yelled, struggling to get over the sound of the palace's earthquake. Odin's head snapped his way, and Loki trembled under his angry glare. Then Loki saw how frost crept up to the throne behind the king and he nearly fainted.


	2. Chapter 2

**The second chapter. Thanks to everyone who favorited and alerted.  
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**- - - And Ash Rained Down On Asgard: Chapter 2**

_Please melt. _he thought, feeling sick. _By the Nine Realms, please don't look. _Thankfully both men were turned his way, all of their attention on him, so they did not see the icy trail that Loki had somehow, unwillingly, cast upon the throne.

"What have you to say, son?" Odin asked, his voice still deep with anger. Loki gulped, and tried to eye his father _and_ the icy throne at the same time.

_Melt. Melt. Melt. Melt. Melt. __**Melt!**_

Thankfully whatever Gods there were above the Asgardian had decided to grant Loki's prayers. The ice melted, water dribbled off the throne and droplets fell on the floor, and Loki begged that his brother and father wouldn't hear the sound, wouldn't look around and see it… He had to distract them, keep them busy, and he had to do it now!

"My brother is simply angry because the Jotun ruined his big day. He has looked forward to this day since we were children – he wouldn't stop talking about it ever since he knew that he would be made crown prince one day!" Loki said. Somehow, it didn't seem to calm his father's rage, and he felt all colour leave his face. He had to think of something, and quickly, otherwise misfortune would surely befall on _him_, instead of his brother.

"What I mean to say is..." Loki said, struggling with his words, struggling to see through the panic that had wormed its way through his stomach and now kept his frightened, ice cold heart hostage.

"If the Jotun had ruined the day that you and mother married…" Loki said slowly, carefully. He knew that saying this could just enrage his father further, but now that he had said it, he had to finish. If he stopped now, the Allfather would surely punish both of them.

"Would you have been forgiving?" Loki asked nervously, his fingers curling and uncurling around his robe whilst he talked. The God of Mischief, however, was so focused on his words that he did not even notice the constant movements of his fingers.

"You have a truce, with Laufey…"

_A truce that was broken the minute I set foot in Jotunheim. _

"And those Frost Giants evidently tried to make it look like Laufey had broken it. The most logical explanation would be that _they_ sought war on Asgard, or to steal the Casket." Loki continued. He could see that his father was thinking about his words. But still, they weren't safe, he could tell from the way that his father brushed through his beard, something which he always did when he wasn't sure what to do.

_Loki Silvertongue. They call me Loki Silvertongue. I can make it through this. I can talk us out of this._

"They made it look like Laufey had ordered them to do this, so that _you_ would break the truce. But Laufey is king. Had he wanted to wage war on you, wouldn't he have sent his whole army here, to surprise us?" Loki said.

_I haven't lost my touch. I haven't lost my touch. I haven't lost my touch. _

As if repeating it over and over again in his head would make it true.

"He is right, father." Thor said. He'd scrambled to his feet. _Weren't _you_ the one who wanted war? _Loki thought, sarcastically, but he watched out not to say it out loud. That would undo the progress that they'd made.

"Send one man, and he can slip past unnoticed. Send more, and they cannot hide behind pillars or corners, or slip out of the palace without drawing attention to themselves." Thor continued, as if he'd suddenly turned into a strategic advisor. Loki almost smiled when he fondly thought of the many conversations that he had with one particular advisor, a young one, each trying to best the other constantly by thinking up more schemes and tactics.

"Hmm…" Odin mumbled, while he brushed through his beard once more. His eyes stood distant, as if he looked right through his sons, and Loki feared that he was unwell, that he had been poisoned or that something else had befallen on him. The goblets that the attendants had drank from at the failed ceremony hadn't been poisoned, right? Loki brushed off the though, reasoning to himself that that was impossible: no-one could ever reach the palace kitchens without being noticed.

Just like no-one could sneak into Asgard's palace.

Loki had to fight hard to keep a grimace from twisting his features. He had to stop thinking about that, if he didn't want anyone to get suspicious. And they said that Frigga, his mother, could look into one's eyes, straight into their soul. What did she see when she looked into his eyes? Did she see a traitor? A boy that had been thrown into a ploy, that couldn't control his own actions no matter how he tried? An ice cold soul? Did she see icy blue skin and burning red eyes? Loki gulped and forced himself to pay attention to his father.

"Surely, you would not punish our son for something which they think and talk about?" Frigga's voice drifted through the air, into the throne room. The distance in Odin's eyes was replaced by surprise and stubborn determination. Soon, Frigga strode into the room, moving ever so gracious in the golden dress that pooled around her feet with every step she took.

Loki suddenly realized how _old_ his parents really looked. Despite her age, though, Frigga's skin was still smooth, save for the small wrinkles around her eyes from many a laughter. Her hair was braided and wound around her head so that, if need be, it would not hinder her as she fought, despite the fact that it had been many years since his mother had last wielded a sword. Loki knew that she kept two daggers in her boots, though.

"Thor wanted to wage war on the Jotun for the actions of few!" Odin defended himself. Loki wondered if he felt the need to defend his decisions to his wife. Perhaps their marriage wasn't all that it looked to be. He made sure to remember that thought, for perhaps he could use it the next time that Laufey sent for him. In the few weeks that he'd been but a pawn in the Frost Giant's game, Loki had fed him various lies and vague rumours, until the king of Jotunheim had gotten tired of uselessness of his informant and had demanded something that he could make use of.

"Yes, Thor _wanted_." Frigga said, her eyes shining with wisdom and something that Loki could only identify as excitement. Was she excited that she could speak against her king? Loki had never seen his mother quite like this. Of course, the arguments between the king and queen were infamous for their length: once, Loki remembered, their parents hadn't talked to each other for months. _On end_. He almost smiled as he remembered that the Allfather had told his sons to pick Crystal Flowers from the Blue Forest, finding it amusing that the king did not care to pick flowers himself to make up to his wife.

Frigga had loved the bouquet of delicate, tiny crystal flowers in many twinkling colours, with thick stems and thin rosebuds, even though she must've known that they were not Odin's, Loki suddenly realized. He wondered why they even fought at all, if such a simple thing as flowers that weren't even picked by the giver could end their quarrels.

"But did you hear him say that he was going to take your army to Jotunheim to slaughter a many?" the queen continued, whilst she proceeded to make her way towards her husband, taking long strides.

"No, but-" the king said, but his wife did not let him finish.

"Is thinking and saying one thing the same as acting on it?"

"No. But-"

"But you wish to teach our sons and the citizens of Asgard that they are not allowed to share their opinions, to speak their thoughts?" the queen challenged. Loki held his breath. Frigga might be Odin's wife, but that might not mean that she was safe from his rage.

"Of course not!" Odin said indignantly. His wife smiled, and Odin's determined face faltered when he seemed to realize that he had walked right into her trap. Loki hid his smirk behind his hand. Perhaps he had inherited his touch for scheming and mischief from his mother after all…

"Well then, tell me what our boys have done to earn your rage?" she asked, her voice sweet like nectar that dripped out of a flower upon the butterfly's touch. The king of Asgard blinked, looked at his sons, and sighed when he realized that he'd been defeated.

"You may leave…" Odin said, sparing a glance at both of them.

_Finally. _Loki thought.

"But if I hear but _one word_ of you going to Jotunheim, you _will_ be punished!" Odin said while he pointed to his firstborn son, using his spear Gungnir, as a means to underline the threat. Loki sighed in relief, and even when he saw Thor's jaw tighten with stubbornness did he not lose his sense of security. They would not be punished. They could leave. They were safe.

Loki tried to tell his speeding heart that, until he remembered the illusion that he'd cast. And when he remembered the illusion, he felt the exhaustion weighting down on him. Hence why he was not happy in the slightest when his brother clasped him on the shoulder once they were outside the throne room, smiling brightly.

"Thank you, brother." Thor said with gratitude, not noticing at all that Loki nearly collapsed under the weight of his hand. Loki managed a smile at his brother and wasn't sure if he should be relieved when Thor removed his hand and walked away. For one, he nearly collapsed now that he'd lost the possibility to lean on something if need be, and secondly, Thor had been the reason why he'd pushed himself to remain standing.

Now, the exhausted God of Mischief wobbled on his legs and crashed into a pillar, sliding down against it.

At least he hadn't fallen through a window.

After what felt like an eternity, but were just fifteen minutes nonetheless, Loki found that he could finally stand again, and he quickly made his way to his chambers, knowing that he had to break the illusion or else lose consciousness any minute.


	3. Chapter 3

**The third chapter. Thanks to everyone who favourited and alerted this story. It takes to Midgard in chapter 8, so it'll be a while before Loki meets Jane. But it'll be worth it, I promise. **

**- - - AND ASH RAINED DOWN ON ASGARD: Chapter 3**

"We are going to Jotunheim." Thor announced after he'd drank all the liquid in his goblet. Stunned, unbelieving silence immediately followed after Thor had said this. Fandral, the golden-haired man that looked more like a Midgardian knight than an Asgardian warrior laughed and lifted his own goblet in a gesture of appreciation, believing the first prince to be only jesting.

Loki, however, knew the look that was plastered on his brother's face. Determination, stubbornness and excitement all folded together into one look. A look that was currently directed at him. The God of Mischief frowned, until he realized that Thor was waiting for his approval. He sighed and shook his head, taking a sip from his own goblet. If he had to deal with Thor's drunken stupidity, then he could better be befuddled himself.

"We are _not_ going to Jotunheim." Loki said, after he'd forced back the urge to cough. It was not often that he drank. He had to keep his brother and friends as far away from Laufey and the Frost Giants as possible, especially since he turned into a Frost Giant himself when one touched him. He could only imagine having to explain this to his brother.

"Oh, come on Loki! A little bit of mischief, a few hundred deaths, and father never has to know!" Thor slurred, while he made his way toward his brother and put his arm around his shoulders. Loki grimaced when he found out that his brother had decided to lean on him using his full weight. Thor was not a light weight in the slightest.

"Your brother is right, Thor. It is not wise to go to Jotunheim, not with only the six of us." Sif said, twirling her raven-black hair around the fingers of her left hand and modestly sipping from the goblet of mead in the other. Years ago, Loki had admired the female warrior. When she'd been young and told everyone that she wanted to become the best warrior in all of Asgard, Loki had been the first one to support her. Of course, everyone conveniently forgot to mention that. Instead Thor was mentioned every time that Sif's warrior-hood was brought up, because _he_ had been the one that taught her to wield a sword. Everyone _conveniently_ forgot to mention that Thor had mocked and jested her for her desire to wield weapons, before she'd dared him to a drinking challenge with lessons being the prize.

"But friends, are we not the bravest and strongest warriors in Asgard?" Thor went on, as if Sif hadn't spoken at all. The warrior lady narrowed her eyes at the prince.

"How hard can it be to slay some Frost Giants?" the firstborn son of Odin challenged. Loki sighed and hid his grimace behind his goblet. He knew out of experience that slaying 'a few' Frost Giants was hard. Granted, he'd been on his own, but he was a _sorcerer_, he could teleport by taking one step! Figuratively speaking, in comparison to a warrior that had no knowledge of magic, Loki should've been able to kill them with a wave of his hand!

Instead, when Loki had clutched the sword that he'd hidden beneath his cloak tightly, intending to kill the Frost Giant king in hopes that that would remove the curse, Loki had been defeated. The Frost Giants that had opposed him had been much, much larger than the ones that he'd snuck into the palace. He'd managed to strike a few with his sword, but then one of them had broken the weapon, still in his hands, with seemingly but a tap of its enormous blue hand.

The sword had shattered into a million little pieces. Loki still remembered how he'd stared at his sword, his eyes widening when he saw the web of small lines forming on the blade, creeping toward the tip at a steady pace. The Frost Giant had knocked the sword out of his hands and it had shattered before his very eyes. No matter how he tried, Loki could not ban the vision from his mind.

"Very hard, brother." Loki said sarcastically, after he'd forced the humiliation of defeat from his mind. It hadn't been his fault. He'd gotten the same training as Thor had, as every royal family member had, but there had simply been too many Frost Giants. Eventually, he'd been brought before king Laufey, expecting to be killed. The rest was history. A history of which Loki wished had never taken place.

Thor whirled around at once, lifting his hammer threateningly. Loki, however, did not flinch. He knew his brother was bluffing. Thor would never intentionally hurt him.

"How can you know that? You've never even _seen_ a Frost Giant!" Thor said indignantly, as if speaking against him was some sort of crime that needed to be upheld. Loki lifted his eyebrows and hoped that no-one could see beyond the mask that hid his true emotions.

"Brother, we are with but six. You are befuddled, not to mention your male friends." he said slowly, albeit he could not keep the sarcasm from creeping into his voice, as if he hoped that that would make the words dawn on Thor. The God of Thunder only snorted, however. Loki sighed and rolled his eyes, having trouble to keep a slight smirk from forming on his face. His brother might be big-headed and ready to seek out trouble at every opportunity, but that didn't mean that Loki loved him any less. And drunken Thor was highly amusing, as always.

Fandral stopped rubbing his beard and glared angrily at Loki. Loki ignored him.

"Aye! What Loki says is true, my friends." Volstagg said. He always reminded Loki of a dwarf warrior, with his size and his long ruddy hair, not to mention his bristly beard and moustache. Volstagg, however, was a very bright man. Not many knew that he read books, for they always expected Volstagg to be a man of brawls, arm wrestling and drinking without restraint.

The palace library wasn't used often anyway, so Volstagg was Loki's only company sometimes. Loki was glad that Volstagg had respect for silence and handled the old, brittle books with care. Whenever Loki was in the library, he wished to not be disturbed, and Volstagg seemed to prefer the same. Thus, they had never discussed their mutual interest for books, and both men seemed happy to keep it that way.

Loki's grateful smile faded, however, when Volstagg grinned and slammed his goblet on the table, causing the leftover mead to slosh around and spatter.

"But are we not the Warriors Three with the warrior lady Sif and the God of Thunder on our side?" Volstagg asked enthusiastically. His friends hurrah'd in approval and brought their goblets together to toast. Loki grimaced because they'd forgotten him. That was, until Thor turned to him and pulled him out of his chair with force. Loki nearly lost his balance and grimaced at the strength of Thor's grasp, even though he knew that his brother did not use his strength intentionally. Most likely, Thor didn't know his own strength when he was drunk.

"And Loki!" he bellowed. Loki felt his face flush when he saw that nearly everyone in the hall was looking at him. Not just the Warriors Three and Sif, but _everyone_ in the hall, including the servants and maids. Great. What a way to not attract attention to them.

"And Loki!" the Warriors Three and Sif echoed, lifting their goblets in a salute.

Loki's mouth almost fell open with surprise, and he blinked when he felt tears well up in his eyes. He realized that this was perhaps the only time that he had gotten recognition from anyone, and probably the only form of recognition that he would ever get. He basked in the warm glow of being seen, of being noticed, even if it was by five befuddled warriors with a suicide plan to invade Jotunheim.

They looked at him expectantly and Loki realized that they were waiting for him to say something.

_Damn._ Loki thought, as he feverously tried to think of something to say, something inspiring, something uplifting.

"For Asgard!" he finally said, while he lifted his own goblet high as a means of toasting. The Asgardian's echoed his toast and drank, goblets being clanked together with vehemence.

"See, I told you that Loki would agree to our plan!" Thor said. Loki's eyes widened when he realized what his brother was talking about. He glared at his brother, but Thor only winked at him.

_You are not drunk._

Loki had walked straight into his brother's trap. He briefly considered punching Thor in the face, but then he remembered everyone else in the hall and decided that it would only amuse them greatly.

No matter how much he grimaced and gnashed his teeth together, no-one seemed to notice that he wasn't enthusiastic about the plans to go to Jotunheim, or perhaps they did but simply decided to ignore it. Loki sighed and filled his goblet to the brim with one of the previously ignored pitchers. The liquid that he'd poured himself had been dubbed The Solution To All Your Problems, not because it acted as a solution to all your problems, but rather because by the time that you'd had one goblet you would be so far gone that you didn't care anymore. Or perhaps because by then everyday problems would be the last of your worries. Nonetheless, he could really use the carelessness that it promised.

He emptied his goblet in one go and immediately refilled it.

The night suddenly promised to become a lot more interesting.

**A-A-R-D-O-A**

"Leave this to me." Loki said, determined to shake off his nervousness in order to convince the Gatekeeper to open a pathway to Jotunheim for them, the next day after their hangovers had worn off. Secretly he wished that the Allfather had instructed Heimdall to open pathways to Jotunheim to no-one, but he feared that he lacked such luck. Most likely, Odin _wanted _Thor to be reckless and stupid, so that he could punish his firstborn son and make an end to Thor's love for needless battle.

Sif shot him an indignant look, for she had wanted to talk to Heimdall. The warrior lady was convinced that the Gatekeeper would be easy on her, and grant her access because she was a woman, and not a bloodthirsty man. He hastily strode toward Heimdall, the tall darkly skinned man clad in shining golden armour. He tried his best to ignore the sword that the Gatekeeper leaned on, telling himself that surely he wouldn't see the need to wield it against them.

"Gatekeeper, we seek-" Loki began, but Heimdall interrupted him.

"You are not dressed warmly enough." the Gatekeeper said in his deep voice. Loki blinked, a tad confused, until he realized that he was dressed in the same clothes that he would when walking through Asgard's warm lands.

_Curse my stupidity_. he thought. Thor, Sif and the Warriors Three had thought of wearing thick fur cloaks, whilst Loki had forgotten that he was the only one who wouldn't be bothered by the frostbite that laid over the ice cold Realm.

"I'm sorry?" Loki sputtered, in an attempt to save his face. The Gatekeeper met Loki's eyes, his own burning a bright amber. For the first time, Loki wondered how the man's eyes could be such a colour without the need for illusions or spells. But Heimdall had been Asgard's Gatekeeper long before Odin Allfather had been born, and perhaps he'd already been here when Odin's great-grandfather had assumed the throne. Perhaps he knew an older, ancient form of magic.

"You think you can deceive me."

Loki's heart almost stopped beating.

"You… You must be mistaken…" he finally managed to say, not succeeding in keeping the tremor out of his voice. Surely the Gatekeeper did not know of his curse? Surely he'd been watching some other Realm when Loki had first been to Jotunheim? From that day on Loki had constantly used spells to shroud himself from the Gatekeeper's view, whenever he had to leave for Jotunheim.

"Enough!" Thor suddenly boomed. "Heimdall, may we pass?" the golden-haired first prince asked, unknowingly saving Loki from passing out from dread and shock. Heimdall turned his attention to Thor and his face twisted into anger and betrayal, his hand clutching the hilt of his sword even tighter.

"Never has an enemy escaped my watch until this day. I want to know how it happened." the Gatekeeper said, barely able to keep the anger from lacing his voice.

_I know how._

Loki forced the thought from his mind and forced himself to look at his brother.

"And tell no one where we have gone until we return. Understand?" Thor asked. Heimdall nodded earnestly before he stepped to the side to let them through. Loki sighed in relief: if Heimdall had known about his curse, then the Gatekeeper would've said something about it or suggested it. Heimdall was not a man to keep secrets if he knew they would do damage.

Loki hardly noticed that Thor and his friends had begun moving toward the Bifrost, for he had been feverously trying to think of a way to fight, protect his friends, keep his friends away from Laufey, keep his secret and uphold the illusion at the same time.

"_Tell the Allfather where we are going. This will not end well."_

Loki used all his concentration to direct the thought to the Gatekeeper. Heimdall turned his burning golden eyes to him and nodded without saying a word.

"What's the matter, silver tongue turned to lead?" Volstagg teased him, having noticed that Loki had fallen behind. Loki sighed and caught up with his friends, giving up on his attempt to find a solution and just hoping the best of it.

Heimdall lead them to the Bifrost, but didn't open the gate for them yet.  
>"Be warned, I shall uphold my sacred oath to protect this realm as its gatekeeper. If your return threatens the safety of Asgard, my gate will remain shut and you will be left to perish on the cold waste of Jotunheim." the Gatekeeper said.<p>

Volstagg frowned and huffed. "Couldn't you just keep the bridge open for us?"

"Keeping the bridge open would unleash the full power of the Bifrost and destroy Jotunheim, with you on it." Heimdall said dryly. Volstagg grimaced, muttering "Eh…" under his breath.

"I have no plans to die today." Thor said resolutely, as if that settled it. Heimdall looked from Thor to Loki, his golden eyes seemingly burning through their souls. Loki felt uncomfortable, like the Gatekeeper's last words were direct at him, and not at all of them.

"None do."


	4. Chapter 4

**The fourth chapter. Thanks to everyone who favourited and alerted.**

**- - - And Ash Rained Down On Asgard: Chapter 4**

Of course, it went terribly wrong. The minute that Loki stepped through the portal and into Jotunheim, he knew that something was wrong. Nothing made a sound, nothing seemed to move. Even the wind, that would normally blow biting coldness into Loki's face seemed to have paused, awaiting what was to come.

Thor openly mocked the Frost Giants, not noticing the tension, the threat that hung in the air around them, or perhaps simply ignoring it. He just started shouting that the Frost Giants were cowards, trembling away in fear in their hideouts, when a gigantic frozen boulder started cracking and moving.

Loki didn't know how fast he had to shout 'Run!' to his brother and friends. The word barely stopped echoing when the warriors scurried away, only just avoiding getting crushed by two enormous blue fists. Loki nearly passed out from shock when he recognized the Frost Giant as Laufey.

"The house of Odin is full of traitors..." Laufey said, looking Loki in the eyes. Loki gulped and prayed that no-one would notice it. Thankfully, his brother and friends were enraged by what the Frost Giant said, and didn't pay attention to who it was directed to.

"Do not dishonour my father's name with your lies!" Thor thundered at the Frost Giant.

Loki grabbed his brother's arm, begging him to listen. "Thor, stop and think. Look around you, we're outnumbered..." To his utter surprise, Thor glared at him with anger in his eyes. Loki fought to not cower under his gaze.

"Know your place, brother!"

It was like a slap in the face. Whilst only a day before Thor and his friends had saluted him, his brother now fell back into his arrogant attitude of superiority. It happened sometimes, when Thor seemed to think that he knew better, _was _better, than Loki. Loki gnashed his teeth together to keep himself from responding.

"You don't know what your actions would bring about... I do. Go now, while I still allow it." the Frost Giant said icily, pointing his gigantic hand toward the portal that they'd used to enter the Realm. Against all odds it looked like the king meant it, and Loki to restrained his brother to keep him from charging.

"We will accept your most gracious offer. Come on, brother..." Loki hastened himself to say. To his surprise, Thor's shoulders slumped and he allowed himself to be lead away from the Frost Giants. Sif and the Warriors Three followed them quickly.

"Run back home, little princess." a Frost Giant whispered in the background, knowing from Loki's information that insulting Thor would enrage the God of Thunder beyond the point of seeing reason.

_Damn..._

Thor wrestled free from his grip and charged at the Frost Giants. They were surrounded before they even got the chance to look around.

Against all odds Thor, Sif and the Warriors Three managed to slay quite the Frost Giant, whilst Loki desperately tried to avoid being dragged into the battle, avoid touching the frosted boulders and mountains, upholding the illusion and trying his best to remain unnoticed by Laufey.

Normally he would've helped his brother and friends, but now there were just too many things that he had to keep his attention on.

He recoiled in horror when he saw that his brother got closer and closer to the Frost Giant king. The God of Thunder used his hammer to knock away the Frost Giants that were in his way and apparently called it done, for he did not stop to slay them. Loki knew this style of fighting, it was one that his brother did not use often. He used it when he saw an opportunity to win a battle by slaying only one. Thor was strong enough to slay the Frost Giant king if it came down to a duel, and Loki dreaded the thought. The knowledge to lift the curse would be lost along with Laufey. He had to do something, _anything_, to distract Thor from Laufey.

His jumbled thoughts caused magic to build up inside of him. Loki, halfway into a panic-attack, had no idea what the magic did and only realized it when the magic detached itself from him. He could only watch in absolute horror as he saw a Frost Giant dashing toward Fandral, with speed that could only be caused by magic. Fandral had his back toward the Frost Giant and only noticed the threat when the Jotun pushed him into a spiked boulder.

Something that should've been a scream, but was reduced to a faint, shrill sound wormed its way out of Loki's mouth.

_No. No. No. No. No._

He only just noticed the Frost Giant that advanced on him, his arm frozen into a gigantic icicle, ready to slay him with one blow. Loki drove his sword through its stomach and the Frost Giant sank through its knees. Before Loki could finish him off, however, the Frost Giant grabbed his arm. Loki's eyes widened as the touch shattered the illusion and slowly but surely allowed icy blue to creep up his arm. He quickly shifted the sword that was buried in its stomach and freed himself from the Jotun's grasp. The illusion quickly reclaimed its place.

Another Frost Giant made its way toward him, but Loki hastily side-stepped its outstretched fist and re-appeared next to Fandral. He carefully pulled Thor's friend from the spikes. Three torturing seconds long Loki believed him to be dead, until Fandral groaned. The God of Mischief sighed in relief and began hauling his friend away, not paying attention to anything that was happening around him.

Sif joined them quickly and put Fandral's arm over her shoulders, so that they could move faster. The Frost Giants, however, did not intend on letting them escape. The warriors edged toward the portal slowly, carefully, as if the Frost Giant would not see their slight movement. Laufey smirked and Loki realized that they could not go through the portal with their backs toward it: the portal was but a small one and they could easily miss it, stepping off the edge of the cliff instead.

"Prepare to meet your end, Asgardians." Laufey said. The other Frost Giants began creeping toward them slowly, until Laufey suddenly gestured for them to stop. Thor and his friends looked at each other in confusion, but Loki felt dread taking his heart hostage once again.

"Perhaps it would be merciful for you to know who has betrayed you, before you join your ancestors." the king said with a thoughtful frown on his face. Loki's breath hitched, though no-one seemed to notice it. He felt his usual control slip away, forsaken in favour for growing panic. He started trembling and he could barely keep his expression neutral.

"You would be surprised to hear how close they are to you." Laufey said, anticipation lacing his voice. He was obviously looking forward to crushing their hope and trust. Loki couldn't keep his eyes from widening, and shut them tightly instead. Laufey was going to reveal him, and surely Sif would run him through, or Volstagg would behead him, or Thor would smash his skull with his hammer… Or perhaps they would shackle him and take him back to Asgard, to rot in the dungeons for the rest of his life.

Laufey opened his mouth to reveal his betrayal, and the Realm shook with tremor. Loki's eyes shot open, but were immediately blinded by a bright, all-consuming light. When he opened his eyes again, he nearly sank to his knees out of gratitude, not for a second considering the rage that radiated off the Allfather, who had appeared on Jotunheim on his great white stallion.

"Father!" Thor yelled, and Loki felt the urge to hug his brother for drawing Laufey's attention to him.

"We'll finish them together!"

_Forget the hug. I'll kill him instead. _

"**SILENCE!**" The Allfather thundered. The Realm shook under his great anger and the white stallion pranced, its whinnying somehow managing to be even more unsettling than the Allfather's bellowing voice.

"Allfather. You look weary." The Frost Giant king said, with a smirk on his face that said 'I know something you don't know.'. Loki gulped nervously.

"Laufey. End this now!" Odin said, his voice heavy with authority. Loki sighed in relief. Surely Laufey would not be able to resist that commanding voice?

"Your boy sought this out." the king said calmly, however.

"You're right. But these were the actions of a boy, treat them as such. We can end this together, here, now, without any more bloodshed."

_Yes please. _Loki thought, but Laufey had other plans.

"We are beyond diplomacy now, Allfather. You'll get what he came for: war… and death." he said slowly, his voice low but threatening. Venom dripped from it, and if looks had been lethal, Odin would've dropped dead right on the back of his stallion.

"So be it!"

Loki didn't exactly know what he had expected. Perhaps he had expected a giant explosion that would wipe away all life on Jotunheim, perhaps he had expected the planet itself to explode. At the very least he had expected Laufey or any other Frost Giant to fall and crumble to the ground.

Instead a bright light blinded them all when the Allfather brought his spear down to the ground.

**A-A-R-D-O-A**

With his eyes still tightly shut, and feeling mightily disorientated and sick, Loki sank through his wobbly knees when they all landed next to the Bifrost. Unexpected usage of a passage between the Realms wasn't exactly gentle and slow. He felt like he'd been caught in a free fall, only to fly up and start it all over again.

"You are a vain, greedy, cruel boy!" Odin's voice immediately boomed through the room. Loki's hands started to tremble, even though his father's words weren't directed to him but to his brother. The Allfather truly was enraged beyond reason, and Loki feared what he would do.

"And you are an old man and a fool!"

Loki cursed his brother's stupidity. Why did he have to make his point? Loki felt his stomach churn and couldn't keep his entire body from trembling. Sweat gleamed on his forehead and he gasped for breath. Everything, _everything_ was falling apart around him. He should've stopped Thor, he shouldn't have told Heimdall to inform their father, he should've never set foot in Jotunheim, he…

"Yes... I was a fool, to think you were ready."

The Allfather's voice was strangely low, void of threats and anger. Loki looked up, and saw the look of sheer disappointment on his father's face. Bile rose to his throat and he had trouble forcing it back.

"Father..." he choked out, because his heart was hammering away and his vision began to get blurrier and blurrier. The frantic _thump thump thump_ of his heart sounded deafening in his ears and tears swam in front of his eyes, along with stars and dark spots and-

"**NAY!**" the Allfather thundered, glaring at his son. Loki failed to keep his breathing under control, and was overcome with fear and horror as he realized that no matter how much air he sucked in, his lungs seemed insatiable.

The unrelenting thirst for oxygen seemed unquenchable.

"Can't… breathe…" he wanted to say, but only a faint whimper escaped his lips, together with what little air had been left in his lungs. His hands, that had previously kept him half upright, slipped away and he collapsed on the ground.

"Loki!"

_Thor_. Loki realized.

"Get Eir!" the Allfather yelled at once, finally noticing the peril that his son was in. Footsteps thundered past Loki, but he had no idea who it was, for consciousness was slowly slipping out of his grasp, making way for the bliss, the end of his problems, that the gradual cold grip belonging to unconsciousness promised him.

"Breathe, son." Odin whispered. Loki was barely aware that the king and his brother had rushed to his side, Odin crouching on one side and Thor on the other. He was surprised by how gentle the Allfather's touch was, when he laid his hand on his shoulder. Power seeped through his skin, crept into his veins and found its way to his heart, where it strengthened the illusion that had been about to crumble around him.

The warm glow of power proceeded its course to his lungs, were it rested. Slowly but surely Loki was able to breathe again, even if only a bit. It was enough to keep him from spiralling down into unconsciousness.

By the time that Eir had joined them, with her skirts flapping around her legs, Loki had regained control over his breathing and felt only a bit light-headed and not like he was going to drop dead any minute.

"Come on Loki, Eir will take care of you." Odin mumbled, while he hauled Loki to his feet. The God of Mischief shook his head, even if that caused bright sparks to fly across his vision. Loki knew his father well enough to understand that the Allfather was still angry with them, all of them, despite the fact that one of his sons had collapsed. He feared what Odin would do to his brother, who had come up with the plan to wage war on Jotunheim.

"No, no, no. Thor-" Loki said, shaking his head, but his brother cut him off.

"I'll be fine, brother. I'll check up on you later, all right?" Thor said earnestly. Loki nodded, feeling somewhat reassured and had no chance but to let Eir lead him away from the Bifrost, his brother and his friends.

Loki waited and waited, huddled together on one of the beds in the palace's hospital wing. Even when he saw the sun sink toward the sea did he not lose hope that his brother would come to get him, and he felt a bit impatient and irritated when Eir told him that he could go to his room, for his brother had still not visited him.

He didn't know yet that his brother would never come.


	5. Chapter 5

**The fifth chapter. Thanks to everyone who favorited, alerted and reviewed!**

**- - - And Ash Rained Down On Asgard: Chapter 5**

The truth was much too cruel. It felt almost as if it had shattered Loki's entire world along with the belief that his brother would come to visit him.

That day would never come.

_Thor_ would never come.

He should've known that there something wrong, that there was something that they weren't telling him, when Eir had visited him in his chambers and had hesitantly informed him that the king wished for him to remain in his chambers for the days to come.

The healer hadn't been able to answer his question.

_Why? Why do I have to stay in my chambers? I'm healed, you said so yourself._ Loki had asked, but now he understood.

His brother was gone. Lost to him. Banished to Midgard.

His mother had been the one to tell him, because Odin hadn't shown himself. The Allfather sat on his throne all day long, his distant eyes staring to the empty space in front of him, as if the king's will had been banished along with his son.

Later, after his mother had hugged him tightly and apologized for actions that had not been her own, that she could not possibly have prevented, Sif came to visit him. Loki was surprised to see that the Warriors Three weren't with her, until she told him that she wanted him to know what had happened.

_Thor Odinson... you have betrayed the express command of your king._

Instead of jumping to his feet and rushing to the Allfather, to demand of him that he would bring Thor back to Asgard, to make an end to his banishment, his punishment, Loki remained seated in his chair. Even when Sif asked him if he could talk to the Allfather, to change his mind.

_Through your arrogance and stupidity, you've opened these peaceful realms and innocent lives to the horror and desolation of war!_

"It is not possible," Loki told her earnestly, softly, whilst he looked at the floor. For once his charisma and confidence chose to abandon him, for he dared not to meet the warrior lady's eyes. He feared that he would be met with judgement, with betrayal and blame. _He _should've stopped his brother. _He _should've kept them from going to Jotunheim.

_You are unworthy of these realms, you're unworthy of your title, you're unworthy... of the loved ones you have betrayed!_

At the very least, he shouldn't have told Heimdall to inform the Allfather.

_I now take from you your power!_

He could've taken the blame, he could've taken the Allfather's punishment. Loki shivered in his seat.

When he finally mustered up the courage to steal a glance at Sif, he saw only understanding and concern in her eyes. Loki suddenly realized that the warrior lady's heart was more lady than warrior, for if she had been Volstagg, Hogun or Fandral, his eyes would have met a cold wall marred with blame and judgement.

"Loki."

A strangled sob, more like a whimper, escaped his mouth and she laid her hand on his arm, the touch strangely soothing and comforting. In the past, Loki's heart would have skipped a beat, only to hammer away when the initial shock had faded. In the past, he might've said something charming, or something daring, in an attempt to make _her_ heart speed up, but now he remained silent.

_In the name of my father and his father before, I, Odin Allfather, cast you out!_

For some reason the silence felt thick with blame. _You have caused this._ it whispered in his ear. _You should've stopped him. You know he would've listened to you, his brother._ It did nothing to chase away the melancholy they felt.

Instead of talking to his brother, instead of convincing him to change his mind, Loki had chosen to do nothing, to go along with their plan. Why, he did not know. He wished that he knew, so that he could turn back time and prevent it.

"None of this is your fault, Loki." Sif told him, speaking softly, carefully. Loki bravely blinked away the tears that had gathered in his eyes, and he nodded at her as if he understood, as if he believed her.

For a few minutes, they just sat there, touching, but not really in the same room. Physically, they sat beside each other and their bodies touched, but their thoughts were somewhere else entirely. Then Sif got out of her chair, smiled apologetically at him, and said that she had to go back to her friends. Loki nodded, and watched her leave without saying a word, for he feared that if he spoke all of his lies would spill out like water through a broken barrier.

_Whosoever holds this hammer, if he be worthy, shall possess the power of __**THOR!**_

Loki sighed to himself, still seated in the same position that Sif had left him in half an hour ago. How could he possibly go about his daily life, pretend that everything was all right, without his brother? The Allfather had forbidden for his name to be mentioned, for he had said that until Thor became worthy and reclaimed possession of his hammer, he was no longer his son.

How could he plan his mischief without his brother?

Everyone believed Loki to be the sole pursuer of mischief. It was true that most of the mischief had come from himself, stemmed from his own ideas, but sometimes Thor would aid him. Everyone trusted Thor and the first prince had access to just about everything in the palace. People would gladly lend him things or help him craft something.

Loki chuckled humourlessly when he remembered how he and his brother would sometimes sneak into the other's chambers, to think of new plans and schemes, to talk about it in great detail, form the plan step by step. Loki would cast an illusion on his brother, so that he would not be seen, and Thor would gather everything that Loki was in need of. Loki would then plant everything in the places they needed to be, and they would go their separate ways and wait for the plan to unfold.

Loki always took the blame.

He was the second prince, he didn't have to be well-mannered and polite, at least not in the lengths that Thor had to be. Yes, Thor might be one to overindulge in drinks and battles and _women_, but _that_ was to be expected from a prince. Despite the many years of peace that they had seen, the Asgardians were quite the people to enjoy a good battle or duel. There would be feasts held at every opportunity, and no opportunity for a grand tournament went unseized.

You could get the Asgardians out of war, but you could never get war out of Asgardians.

He himself wasn't so keen on fighting. He and his brother seemed to be complete opposites when it came to that. Whereas Thor enjoyed a good fight and went out of his way to get one, Loki would rather spend his time in a quiet corner in the library, surrounded by stacks of books on every topic imaginable. In his many years – Loki was 300 years old, one year short of his brother – Loki had read almost every book in the library at least once.

Loki sighed and slipped from his chambers, quietly closing the door behind him. He did not desire audience for what he was about to do.

**A-A-R-D-O-A**

With the help of only a few illusions and distractions, Loki made his way to the vault of Relics with little trouble or effort. For the first time Loki wondered why it was so easy for him to remain unseen, to blend in with the shadows as if he belonged to them, or perhaps they belonged to _him_. The thoughts were cast out of his mind when he reached the vaults and slipped in, with the help of an illusion that would make him look like a guard, or the king, or anyone that the guards that were posted before the doors would expect to see most at that moment.

Loki just hoped that the left guard wouldn't expect someone different from the right guard. That would cause him trouble, and it would be hard to explain why the guards thought they had seen someone the other hadn't.

The vault was more of a big, oblong space than an actual vault or chamber. The middle path was mostly empty, apart from a few relics that were either harmless or required less protection and safe-keeping than the others. The really dangerous relics, like the Goblet of Lethal Poison, a goblet that killed whoever that touched it, or the Harp of Ancient Slumbers, a musical instrument that would cause whoever that listened to it to fall into a deep slumber until the music stopped, were placed behind thick glass or energy fields.

Loki studied the two Relics for a moment, hands neatly folded behind his back. He could really use the latter for some mischief when he had time, when his brother was back. Perhaps he could enlist someone to play on it at a feast, or a tournament, so everyone would fall asleep. Loki smirked at the thought, but he was not here to cause or plan mischief, despite the many opportunities that presented themselves to him in the vault.

The God of Mischief turned to the object that he had avoided looking at the entire time that he'd been there. He knew that he had just distracted himself, postponed, by looking at the other objects in the room.

There it was.

The Casket of Ancient Winters.

From where he stood, the Casket seemed relatively harmless, and yet it was guarded by the Destroyer, the great steel giant that his father had created specifically for that purpose. Few knew that when the Casket's powers were unleashed, it would turn a Realm into a world of ice and snow. It had belonged to Jotunheim once, many, many years ago. The Frost Giants had wanted to unleash its power on the Nine Realms, so that they could take over them all.

Loki was here for a reason. He knew that Laufey would eventually force him to return the Casket to Jotunheim, to its rightful place, but this was not his intention. At least not for the time to come. He wanted to see if the Casket would have any effect on him.

Perhaps it would even cure him.

He held his breath while he reached out for the Casket. It was not the Destroyer that he feared would act, he feared that something terrible would be his fate when he touched it. Would it strengthen the curse, force him to be a Frost Giant forever, beyond the capabilities of magic and illusions?

_Come on, Loki. _he thought to himself. _Be brave. Whatever happens, you'll still be _you.

With his concentration spent on the Casket and mustering up the courage to take it, he did not hear the doors far behind him opening. He did not turn around to see his father standing in the doorway, pausing his stride because of what he saw in front of him.

Until…

"**STOP!**"

Loki found it strange that his father felt the need to shout, and that panic and dread quivered through his voice. Did the Allfather fear that he would steal the Casket?

Did he know that Loki had betrayed them? But if he knew that, he must also be aware of the curse that rested upon him, for Loki dreaded to think that his father would believe him to betray Asgard out of his own free will.

"Am I cursed?" he asked, finally shattering his fear by laying his hands against either side of the Casket. His voice sounded low, almost hollow, for he felt the almost familiar frostbite seeping through his hands, creeping through his arms and reaching out greedily for the rest of his body. He imagined that the blood that coursed through his veins slowly frosted into ice, like the surface of a lake, where it spread until it reached his heart, pumping only icy coldness through his body instead of warm blood.

"No." the Allfather said, but it was the tone, the way the word slipped from his father's lips, that worried him greatly. His frozen heart contracted in dread, before it hammered inside his chest like a frightened bird, fluttering its wings in a desperate attempt to escape. Loki felt for that bird, for he understood the feeling of being trapped, of being encased without seeing a way out.

It wasn't a curse.

He wasn't cursed.

That could only mean one thing.


	6. Chapter 6

**The sixth chapter. Thanks to everyone who favorited, alerted and reviewed this story!**

**- - - And Ash Rained Down On Asgard: Chapter 6**

"What am I?" he asked, contemplating on turning around, but then refraining from it. He expected the Allfather to lie, or perhaps to call for guards to have him imprisoned, but none of his expectations came true.

"You are my son."

_You are my son_.

A sob nearly slipped through his closed lips. He almost lost control, his hands, that now held the Casket tightly, almost trembled. Calmly, almost too calmly, Loki released the Casket and softly returned it to its place. The _clunk _echoed through the vault and the cold still ran through his veins. He had to do it now, or he would never have enough courage to do it.

He turned around and faced his father, knowing that his skin was blue and his eyes scorching red, knowing that he looked like a Frost Giant.

Except before he had found comfort, solace, in believing that he'd been cursed. That it could be removed, reversed, that the frostbite could be burned out of his skin, his veins, his heart. Now, however, along with facing his father, he was facing the truth.

He was not cursed.

He was a Frost Giant.

And therefor Odin and Frigga _could not be his parents_.

"What more than that?"

If he was shocked by the sound of his voice, how it sounded more like a growl than actual words, he didn't show it. If he was frightened by knowing the truth, by realizing that this was not something that would go away, that would wear off, he did not show it.

And if he was afraid, if he didn't know what to do now, if he felt like his entire world, everything that he'd ever believed in, everything that he'd _known_ to be true, was shattered before his very eyes, he did not show it.

Instead, when his father did not answer his question, Loki slowly strode toward his father – the man that he'd _believed _to be his father - pacing his step feeling a strange need to show that he meant no harm, that he only desired his questions to be answered. And whilst he walked, he asked:

"The Casket wasn't the only thing you took from Jotunheim that day, was it?"

Loki came to a halt and the question hung in the air between them, the silence almost feeling smothering to him, and perhaps also to his father. The Allfather's face remained unreadable, and the old man remained where he was, at the top of the stairs that lead to the vault. Loki felt slightly annoyed at this, for it gave him the impression that Odin felt the need to show him that he was _above_ him, that he was better than his son.

_Adopted_ son.

"No."

After a few seconds of silence, that seemed to stretch out in front of him to form ages and ages of silence, Loki opened his mouth to ask another question, or perhaps to simply repeat the first. But before he could form his jumbled thoughts into a sentence, a question, the Allfather begun speaking once more.

"In the aftermath of the battle I went into the temple and I found a baby. Small for a Giant's offspring, abandoned, suffering, left to die…"

Loki closed his mouth, swallowing the words that had wanted to come out, feeling them drop through his stomach like bricks. He felt the childish urge to close his eyes, to shut them tightly, for more than to know that he was a Frost Giant, he dreaded to know of his true parentage.

"Laufey's son."

There.

There was the truth, that echoed in his mind over and over again. Those two words taunted him, laughed at him for not seeing it sooner, for not putting two and two together and finding it out himself. He knew that no matter how hard he tried, he could never force those words from his mind, nor could be ban them from his memories. He would never be able to forget, even if everything miraculously would turn out fine, if his betrayal would be forgiven and if his bro- if _Thor _would return to them.

"Laufey's son?" he repeated, not bearing to look at his father. He blinked and then forced himself to spare a glance in his father's direction, not sure what he expected to see. He was met by an expression of regret and worry, his eyes brimming with sorrow. It was a question, a question that deserved an answer. Even though the Allfather had said it once before, it was possible for this answer to be different, for it to be a mistake…

"Yes."

The last hope of it being a mistake, a misunderstanding of softly uttered words died along with Loki's belief that he knew his father, his mother, his heritage. _Himself. _If he had believed himself to be the second son of Odin Allfather and Frigga, then did that mean that he did not know himself, now that that proved to be untrue?

His whole life had been based on lies, who was to say that he _himself _was not a lie?

Loki could not keep his breathing from becoming ragged, he could not keep his eyes from widening, from staring at the man who he'd believed to be his father. It was impossible to keep the disbelief, the pain out of his expression. He wished for answers, yet at the same time the desire for answers had lead him here, and it could lead him further down the spirals of hidden truths about himself that he might not want to know.

"Why? You were knee-deep in Jotun blood. Why would you take me?" he asked, failing to keep disbelief and a tiny smidge of surprise out of his voice. He cursed himself silently, for this one time in which he needed to remain unshaken, emotionless, his skills failed him.

"You were an innocent child."

_No._ he thought. _No._ It was not possible for his father to slaughter all of Jotunheim to save only him, to decide who was worthy of living and who would be condemned to being slaughtered during a time of war. There must have been many more Frost Giant children, infants, babies, who got slaughtered during the battle. It was not possible for him to be the only one, and yet he was the only one that had survived.

Because he got abandoned. Because he'd been too small to live up to Frost Giant standards.

Because he'd been _lucky. _

"No." Loki breathed, and acknowledging that there must be more to it removed some of the weight that he felt pressing down on his shoulders, weighing down his heart, whispering to him that he was an outcast, that he was alone, that he should not have lived.

The Allfather remained silent and simply watched his son as he struggled with the truth.

"You took me for a purpose. _What was it_?" he asked.

Odin did not answer.

"**TELL ME!" **Loki bellowed. Perhaps if the situation had been different, anything but this, would a part of him have felt ashamed of how childish his voice sounded. He sounded like a boy who desperately wanted to know something that he was not ready to know, not ready to hear, but yet kept pressing on until he had forced the truth out into the open. He panted, short of breath after this sudden outburst. Whilst yelling Loki had doubled over slightly, as to bring more pressure to his words, and from that position Loki saw the Allfather's expression smooth over, void of emotion.

With his expression unreadable and his voice stiff, the Allfather spoke.

"I thought we could unite our kingdoms one day. Bring about an alliance, bring about permanent peace... through you."

The words weighed down on him. Loki found that suddenly, it was hard for him to breathe. His face twisted with confusion, his eyebrows furrowed together, his eyes widened.

"What?" he breathed.

_An alliance._

_Permanent peace._

_Through you._

How could the Allfather not know of how wrong his plans had gone? How could he not know of the pain and fear that Loki had gone through, when he had betrayed his people because he'd believed himself to be cursed? Everything that had happened, everything that kept him awake at night, everything that had caused his self-loathing could have been prevented.

By Odin.

By simply telling him the truth.

But instead the Allfather had leaned back, waiting patiently on his throne for his plan to unfold. Waiting for the chance when he could finally reveal Loki to Laufey, when he could negotiate on terms of peace. Would he have forced Loki to live with the Frost Giants? What if Laufey had not acknowledged him as his son? There had been a _reason_ for his abandonment, a fact that Odin had conveniently forgotten. At least that was what it looked like to Loki.

"But those plans no longer matter." Odin said, his voice softer and more weary now. Loki, however, did not notice the change, for he was seething with anger and hurt, even though he refused to show the latter to the man that he'd believed to be his father.

"So I am no more than another stolen relic, locked up here until you might have use of me?" Loki challenged, his voice demanding, demanding the king to tell him the truth, to confirm it to him. Odin, however, trained his eyes on him and refused to answer him. Instead, the Allfather countered Loki's question with a question of his own.

"Why do you twist my words?"

Loki stared at him in disbelief, his mouth gaping wide open, his mind reeling with the many things that he could say. He could say that he was doing the exact same thing as Odin: twisting the truth by letting him believe that he was a prince, a son, a brother, an _Asgardian_. But the need to confront, the need to _hurt_, fought its way through all the other options.

"You could have told me what I was from the beginning! Why didn't you?" he should've sounded strong, as if everything that he had heard had not fazed him. Instead he sounded like a whining boy once again, and he did not even notice that Odin's face was marred with shock and pain, for if he had he might have made use of it.

"You are my son... I wanted only to protect you from the truth..." Odin said.

_Liar._

His mind refused to release the thought, but Loki did not utter it. Instead he was struggling to understand it all, to comprehend what this meant for him. And whilst he spoke, whilst the words spilled from his lips almost automatically, as if it was not him that was speaking, Loki knew that he could not stay. Not in the palace, not in Asgard. He did not even belong to Jotunheim, for he had been left there to be claimed by death. He did not belong anywhere.

"What, because I... I... I am the monster parents tell their children about at night?"

He loathed himself, his voice, for becoming weak, for letting the pain that he felt shine through the cracks that formed in the mask on his face. Odin did not reply, and because of this Loki found the courage, the time to utter the words that followed.

"Banish me."

The words were barely above a whisper, uttered softly. They were a plea, a desperate, hopeless plea for a way out. Odin's eyes snapped his way and Loki stared back, mustering up all the courage and honour that he could. His father said nothing, and Loki realized that he would have to push harder.

"**BANISH ME!**"

"No! No!" Odin protested and Loki watched as his father nearly fell, as the old man caught himself by grabbing hold of the stairs. Once Odin had collapsed on the stairs, looking nothing like the powerful king, the powerful _father_ that Loki had once believed him to be, hatred was the only emotion that Loki felt.

_Pathetic._

"You know, it all makes sense now: Why you favoured Thor all these years, because no matter how much you claim to love me, you could never have a Frost Giant sitting on the throne of Asgard!" his voice thundered through the vaults, and Loki wondered if the doors were so thick that no-one could hear what transpired inside them, for no guards showed up despite the fact that it sounded very much like a fight that could go wrong any second.

Whilst he spoke, Odin's breathing became hard and ragged, and for the first time Loki wondered if his father was having a heart attack, brought forth by their fight. As he watched his father slipping into the peaceful realm of unconsciousness, Loki wondered if he should just let his father lay there, to die, and call the guards after he was sure that his father had left to join their ancestors in death.

"Guards! Guards, please help!"

But Loki could not do it. He could not watch his father die, if that was what was happening, knowing that he would never get answers. There was so much more, so many questions, that burned within his mind, waiting to be answered. So much more that he wanted to know. Did his mother know? Had she faked being with child, when Odin had returned from battle with an infant? Had they hidden him, in their chambers, until the time had come for her to 'give birth' to their second son? Had Frigga held her youngest son, watching his skin go blue and his eyes a scorching red? Had she still loved him?

All those questions remained unanswered, as the guards stormed in and carried the Allfather away.


	7. Chapter 7

**The seventh chapter. Apologies for the delay and thanks to everyone who favorited, alerted and reviewed.**

**Merry Christmas and a happy New Year as well!**

**- - - And Ash Rained Down On Asgard – Chapter 7**

"So the Allfather has fallen into the infamous Odinsleep? How very convenient." the Frost Giant king said, while he sat on his throne. 'Throne' extended too much liberties to the object that Laufey sat on. 'Throne' made Loki think of a long, stable chair decorated with diamonds, gems and gold. What the Frost Giant king was sitting upon was but a satire, a parody of the word. A rock of solid ice, adorned with icicles, acted as a throne for Jotunheim. It did not look comfortable in the slightest and Loki wondered how even a Frost Giant could sit upon it for longer than a few minutes.

Yet when Loki had arrived in Jotunheim, after the guards in Asgard had carried the sleeping Allfather away, Laufey had been sitting on his throne. And now, half an hour later, he _still_ sat on his throne, almost entirely in the same position, apart from his hands and face that sometimes moved when he put emphasis on his words, or when he was overcome with anger.

Maybe it was a Frost Giant thing, or maybe it was what the cold environment of Jotunheim did to one that lived there, but Loki couldn't sit in one position for very long, even if he was a Frost Giant. Sure, he could sit still for longer periods of time when reading and studies claimed his concentration, but _everyone_ needed to get up and stretch sometime. Laufey, however, seemed to be very comfortable on his cold throne.

"It seems so," Loki said, putting extra effort in making his voice sound bored, as if he had heard it a million times before. "Mother fears that he will awake no more."

Laufey seemed especially interested by that, because his eyes trained on the God of Mischief and Loki had a hard time to keep his bored expression from wavering. Once more he wondered why he hadn't just told the Frost Giant king outright that he knew that there was no curse, that it was just his true lineage that caused his skin to grow blue and his eyes red when he touched the icy boulders of Jotunheim. But he restrained his tongue, even if that sometimes meant that he had to bite on it, to the point of drawing blood. An idea, the rough outline of a plan, had been pushing itself in the far corners of his mind.

The plan gave him more space to think. It bought him time, time to grow stronger and time to think everything through. But the plan entailed that he had to fool the Frost Giant king: he would have to pretend to be the unwilling spy, the fly caught in the icy spider's web. He saw it as the only way to salvage at least _something_ of his old life.

"How convenient indeed." the Frost Giant king said, his tone smug and thoughtful.  
>"It would be so tragic if the Allfather was to be slain in his sleep by his mortal enemy, don't you agree?" Laufey asked, looking down on Loki with a smug, triumphal smile. Loki had to grit his teeth together, and he clenched his fists, more for appearance than because of actual anger.<p>

Odin had hurt him. There was a big gaping hole, with ragged edges and blood seeping out from it, where the Allfather had driven his lies, like fingers, into Loki's heart, tearing and ripping on their way out. Leaving only pain and betrayal in its wake. Loki wondered if it wouldn't be better to just let Laufey slaughter the man that had pretended to be his father for so long, so that he could take the throne of Asgard and rule.

It occurred to him that the man that he was seeing before him, right now, in the icy land of Jotunheim, was his _father_. Even more so than Odin was, despite the fact that the Allfather and Frigga had raised him, fed him, taught him how to walk and talk. If he would let the Allfather die, he would condemn himself to having only one father: this _monster_ that had caused all his problems to begin with.

The corners of his lips twitched as he fought to keep a smirk from forming. He would get his revenge on both of them. If everything worked out according to plan, no-one would know about his so-called 'curse', and no-one would ever find out about his betrayal. Not even the Allfather, not even his mother, and especially not his brother, who'd been the only one in his 'family' to not know the truth.

Come to think of it, Loki reasoned that if his brother ever returned to Asgard, he would be heartbroken upon discovering that his father had been slain by the Frost Giant king, that Loki had taken the throne and destroyed Jotunheim, and that his mother had been devastated by the loss of her husband _and_ her two sons.

Yes, he decided. He would simply slay Laufey when the Frost Giant king tried to strike the Allfather. And then he would go to Midgard and aid his brother, so that he would get his hammer and powers back. The Allfather would be proud of both of them: proud of Thor because he became a better man and proud of Loki because he'd saved his life and helped his brother.

Loki almost nodded to himself, satisfied with his plan, but only just caught himself. The Frost Giant king still frowned, however, and Loki wondered if he'd still made some kind of movement, one that would look especially idiotic seeing as he would've broken it off halfway through.

"Fine." Loki said, keeping a sense of false authority in his voice. It helped him feel more confident about the whole situation, not to mention that soon enough he would be freed from his role as spy and slave.

"I will conceal a few of you and lead you into Asgard. You will find the Allfather in his chambers and have ample opportunity to slay him. And you will be able to retrieve the Casket of Ancient Winters, so that you can return Jotunheim to it's former…"

Loki frowned and looked around for a moment. Jotunheim looked like a planet that had been destroyed by many armies, and he cursed himself when he wondered what the planet had looked like before the Casket had been taken from it. Surely it would've looked far better than this?

"… Glory." Loki said, finally, because he assumed that the Frost Giant king took great pride in his… kingdom. Every king did. That was what Loki found so silly about those who desired to destroy a planet, or the whole universe. It just didn't make sense to him to destroy something that he desired to rule over.

Who wanted to rule over a pile of ash?

"Agreed." Laufey, the King of Frost Giants said, and Loki took that as permission to leave.

**A-A-R-D-O-A**

It was strange, how insecure and small Loki felt when he stood before the closed door that lead to his parents' chambers. For some reason he felt that if he opened the door, he would be intruding. He hadn't been in their chambers often, save from the few occasions when he and his brother had been very young, when nightmares would wake him violently out of his slumber. He vaguely remembered how once, his mother had picked him up from the ground, rubbed his back soothingly and carried him back to his own bed.

He shook his head, willing the distant memory to leave him, because it grasped at the edges of his mind trying to drag him back into better, more peaceful times. After scolding at himself for standing outside like a fool, while he had done nothing to cause his father's Odinsleep, he hesitatingly opened the door, stepped inside and closed it behind him once more.

His mother looked up from where she sat next to her husband, her hair neatly braided and wrapped around her head, the smile she gave him kind but weary. Although she had tried to cover it up with make-up, or perhaps magic, Loki could still see the shades of bags under her eyes. He realized that this must be just as hard for her as it was for him, despite the fact that their situations were not alike in the slightest.

"Mother." Loki said, and he nearly lost control over his emotions and almost allowed breath to hitch, his voice to break. He managed to compose himself, to restrain the raging emotions of anger and sorrow, of fear. He wondered what Frigga would do if he broke down and told her everything - of the Frost Giants, of his unwilling betrayal, of his plan to slay Laufey.

"Are you well?" he asked. It was a silly question, because she most obviously was not well. Her oldest son had been banished from the Realm by her husband, who now laid in his Odinsleep, of which no-one knew how long it would last. Perhaps, Loki thought to himself with growing unease, it would last forever and the Allfather would never awaken.

"I am well." she said to him, her voice kind but weary.  
>"Given the situation." she added, after a moment of silence and a tired sigh. The sight of his mother, obviously barely holding it together, broke Loki's already torn heart into little pieces, but he simply walked to the other side of the bed and crouched down.<p>

His father did not look peaceful. The patch of steel still rested on his left eye, concealing the fact that there was no eye nor eyelid at all. The Allfather had lost it in a battle long ago, but Loki could not remember exactly what battle or when it had been at the moment. The Allfather's lips formed a tight line, only the corners slightly facing downwards, and a frown dominated his features.

Had Loki not known that his father was sleeping, he would've thought that the king of Asgard had perished at the hand of some kind of violent torment.

"So why did he lie?" Loki asked, testing the waters to find out if his mother knew more than she let on. Frigga sighed and straightened herself.

"He kept the truth from you so you would never feel different." Frigga said.

_No. Tell me you didn't know. Tell me you didn't lie to me, too._ Loki thought, and he just knew that his eyes showed his desperation and that the mask that had concealed his true emotions had slipped off. Frigga looked at him, her kind eyes pleading, begging for him to wait and let her finish. He hadn't even really heard her words, but simply processed the fact that she'd _known_, and that she _hadn't_ told him.

"You are our son, Loki, and we your family."

_No. No. No. No. _

Loki nearly shook his head, he nearly denied her words, but he couldn't. It would break her, and he knew it. She would lose everything that she had left, and even if her husband awoke, she would still have lost her two only sons.

"But… but he could've tried. I would've _understood_!" Loki said, despising how the hopelessness sounded through his voice. His hands balled into fists, his nails dug into the soft flesh of his hand palms, but they were obscured from view by the Allfather's bed.

Without saying anything, just by the way that she looked at him, Loki understood that Frigga did not believe this. Loki shook his head.

"I would've had time to… get used to it. To the idea of being different. And you could've told me that there was nothing wrong with me, that I needn't be afraid of myself." Loki said, and whilst he spoke the words, he saw her expression change.

He simply kept talking, though, no matter how many emotions crossed her face.

"Do you know, how frightened and panicked I was, when I found out?" Loki challenged, his burning gaze resting on her. The queen opened her mouth to respond, but Loki's hand flew up to silence her.

"You _and _Father could've reassured me, could've made me see that I needn't _despise_ myself! Instead I find out about it without warning, without explanation! Do you _know_ how much I _hate_ myself? Do you know what you've _done_ to me? I… Now I believe that I'm a monster, instead of just believing myself to be different." he said. At first he'd been angry, and his loud voice had echoed off the walls of the chambers, and then his voice had sounded sad, hopeless and helpless. At the end he was surprised at how bitter he really sounded, and a humourless grimace graced his face.

Frigga looked at him, the shock and disbelief that his words had caused still fresh on her face. She got up and walked toward him, reaching out for him with her hands, for he'd begun to pace whilst talking.

"We are your family, Loki. You can talk to him, right now. He can hear, and feel and even see if his eyes are opened! And when your brother returns to us-" Frigga began, but Loki cried out in anguish and violently pulled his hands out of her grasp. He paced again, wringing his hands together, moving restlessly like a caged animal. His voice broke whilst he talked.

"What hope is there for Thor?" he asked, his voice more desperate and beaten than he'd wanted it to be. But there was no way for him to control his emotions now, to restrain them, now that they'd been freed.

"Your brother _will_ return to us, Loki. He will. There is always a meaning in everything your father does, there's always a reason." Frigga said, her voice gentle and concerned. Loki roared at that, stomping his foot down at the ground in such anger that it caused ice to form under his shoe, leaving behind a web of icy vines that crept over the stone floor. Loki stared at it, feeling hollow and defeated. He knew what he looked like, right now, and he glared at his mother, knowing that his eyes scorched bright red.

"_No!_" he shouted. "Be done with the lies! Tell me truth! _Why_ did he not tell me? He was afraid, wasn't he, that I would steal the Casket and bring it back to my... my true _relatives_?" Loki snapped. He couldn't find it in him to use the word "family". His family had betrayed him, save for Thor. Thor was family. Frigga and Odin weren't. Relatives sounded more distant, it didn't sound as emotional. Frigga looked shocked and made to move toward him, but Loki staggered backward, sharply gesturing for her to stay where she was. His Frost Giant nature melted back into the illusion that made him look like an Asgardian, and only for the first time did Loki realized that it felt just as natural and easy as stepping into a pair of well-worn boots. It hardly took any effort to keep it up, if he hadn't been in Jotunheim for some time.

"Loki, we never meant to-" she said, but the rest of her words would remain a mystery to him, for a knock sounded on the door. Loki turned around at once, when the door opened and a guard walked through it. More guards stood in the doorway. They carried the Allfather's spear, Gungnir, and Loki turned around to look at his mother in confusion. She smiled at him sadly, and gestured for him to take it. The guards came forward bearing the weapon, and Loki took the spear from their hands, a thousand different thoughts and emotions all stumbling over each other. He wasn't sure what he should feel. He looked back at his mother, silently asking for her to explain. And when she spoke, her voice grim and weary once more, her eyes landed on him with emotions that he couldn't identify.

"The line of succession falls to you. Asgard is yours."

He decided right then and there that he would find a way to get his brother back to Asgard in whatever way possible. Even if Thor would not be worthy and remain mortal, Loki vowed to return him to his home, _their_ home.


	8. Chapter 8

**For many of us, 2014 sucked. **

**Let's hope 2015 will bring better things on our paths.**

**The eight chapter. Thanks to everyone who favorited, alerted and reviewed this story.**

**- - - And Ash Rained Down On Asgard: Chapter 8**

Midgard was not what Loki had expected it to be. It had been many hundred years ago that Loki had last visited the place, back at the time when the likes of men worshipped many deities and often prayed for assistance or simple things like rain, food and sometimes even fire. That had been before one God had apparently stood out for them, before they'd abandoned their old gods in favour of their new one.

Not that the Aesir seemed to mind much. They had, after all, abandoned the other Realms of their own will.

Loki had expected to see wooden houses and roofs made of straw and hay. He had expected to be smothered by the thick smoke from fires and the stench of human waste and tainted water. But instead the air was surprisingly fresh, be it that Loki smelled a hint of smoke and something more, a sharp scent that was unfamiliar to him.

And there were no fires either, as far as he could tell. Instead, humans seemed to have finally discovered magic. Or at least that was what Loki assumed the streetlights were, that looked like round, glowing orbs to him.

"All right, now to find my brother…" Loki muttered to himself, unaware that a small girl was watching him from the shadows of her house. Had he seen her, he would've been met by widely opened green eyes, and her mouth frantically forming words silenced through the well isolated walls of her house, shouting to her mother that a stranger had just popped up out of thin air in front of her house. By the time the mother ran into the room to see what got her daughter so disturbed, Loki had already winked away, leaving no trace of the strange man.

**A-A-R-D-O-A**

He landed in a barren, sandy wasteland, or at least that was what it looked like to him. Sand was everywhere he looked. It crunched under his black boots, his favourite ones, crafted from soft leather and finished with emerald green buttons.

Loki looked around him with a frown on his face. He squinted his eyes together. He had meant to find his brother, thought of him before he winked away, concentrated his every thought on Thor, but _this_ was where he'd ended up. He walked around for a while, determined to find what he came for, but all he saw was sand and hills and _more_ sand.

The air was hot, too. It seemed to pool together around him, pushing against his skin like the stinking breath of a mad hound. Sweat glinted on his forehead and rolled down into his brows, and whenever he wiped it away, more would follow. He'd been in other realms before, but none of them had been so heated as Midgard.

Just as Loki was about to turn around and leave, cursing the hot air under his breath, he saw something in the distant. Light. It was not the light of the moon, for the moon couldn't be so bright. From where he stood, far in the distance, the light resembled the round bulbs that he'd seen at the houses where he'd first ended up. But it was much, much brighter, unnaturally bright.

_Might as well see what it is then._ Loki thought to himself, and he began walking. Of course, winking away would be much quicker and easier, and would mean respite from the burning air, but he didn't dare risk it. For all he knew, something about Midgard could be hindering his power, the same way that it made the air so hot. He didn't want to end up somewhere with a lot of people witnessing him materialize out of thin air.

He smiled at himself, as he kept walking toward the light in the distance. He wondered how the Midgardians would react to that. Would they stare, scream, sink on their knees and tell tales of a God that had arrived on their planet? But then he remembered something that he'd read, something about the Midgardians being very advanced. Not as advanced as the Dark Elves on Svartalfheim, that had invented flying ships that shot burning rays into the skies, but advanced enough.

_Perhaps Thor's hammer is in the same place as the light. _Loki thought. Sure enough, when he finally reached the light, he saw that the pit in the middle contained something made of steel. Like expected, it had the shape of a hammer. Thor's hammer Mjolnir. He would return it to his brother. Even if holding it in his hands would not return his powers, Thor could still make use of it.

_To crush skulls. _Loki thought to himself sarcastically, as he walked into the pit. He hoped that his brother wouldn't put his hammer to use immediately after he'd gotten his powers back. Surely Thor wouldn't be so stupid?

Another thought came to Loki then. What if his brother was angry at _him_, for telling Heimdall where they were going? In a way, it was _his_ fault that the Allfather had found them in Jotunheim, fighting against too many Frost Giants on their _own_ realm. What had they been thinking anyway?

_I should've stopped him no matter what. _Loki thought to himself, even though he knew that that would've been impossible. His brother would've hated him for it, and Loki wouldn't have been able to stop him anyway, and then he would've been alone on Jotunheim.

Loki pushed the negative thoughts away and turned to the hammer that was stuck in the ground in front of him. Although he didn't expect anything to happen, he folded his hands around the handle and pulled half-heartedly. Just like he thought, the hammer didn't budge. But still he felt relieved, and released the breath that he'd apparently been holding.

Using his powers to make himself invisible, he studied the Midgardians that came out of the building around the crater. They walked toward the hammer and stood around it, talking animatedly to each other, gesturing enthusiastically. Loki watched them for a few minutes, until one of them shook the other's hands and walked away, toward a shiny black SUV. When the others had left, Loki changed his appearance into that of the man that had left and made his way into the building.

It wasn't very hard to find his brother. Some of the people in the building greeted him or merely nodded at him, but none of them disturbed him. Loki wondered why nobody talked to him, but then just assumed that the man whose appearance he'd taken on must not be very talkative. It was a lucky coincidence, because he wasn't sure how the man acted and didn't even know his name. If someone were to talk to him, there was a good chance that he'd mess up and expose himself. He doubted that these men and women, that looked like they'd been trained very well, would believe any excuse that Loki would come up with to explain why their colleague was acting strange.

He made it to the room where they held Thor undisturbed. Outside he waited for a few minutes, with his hand frozen on the doorknob. What if Thor blamed him? What if his brother wouldn't want to see him? What if Thor didn't believe that it was him, instead believing that it was some kind of trap to get him to spill the beans? Loki took a deep breath, decided that he should worry about those things if they happened, and opened the door.

Apart from a chair in the middle of the room, the room was empty. There weren't even windows, and the door that had allowed him passage was smooth and white all over. There was no way to communicate with anyone that wasn't in the room, nor was there any way to determine what time it was, or if it was day or night, and Loki found himself praising the Midgardians silently. Although they didn't know magic, they did know how to interrogate one. Loki doubted that his brother would last longer than three days, trapped in this room without a way to determine time.

"You again." his brother said. Loki was shocked at how tired Thor sounded and how _broken_ he looked. Thor looked pale and there were dark circles under his eyes. His golden hair was an absolute mess. And was it just Loki's imagination, or did his brother actually look skinnier, like he'd lost weight in such a short time? He felt sorry for his brother. Being mortal must be harder on Thor than he'd first thought it would be. Still, he rolled his eyes and sighed. Thor took a second take, and his eyes widened.

"_Loki_! What are you doing here?" he asked, surprised and somewhat concerned. Loki almost laughed when he saw Thor frowning at him. The god of mischief could almost see the wheels in his brother's head turning, trying to figure out why he was here and not in Asgard.

"I had to see you." Loki said, truthfully. He had yet to figure out how to get Mjolnir back to Thor. It was evident that the hammer was stuck, very stuck. And if it had been easy to get it out of the ground, Thor would probably be holding it right now. Thor's expression suddenly changed, going from surprise to concern and bordering on panic.

"What's happened? Tell me, is it Jotunheim? Let me explain to Father..." Thor stumbled over his words in his haste to get them all out. Loki shook his head sadly.

"Father has fallen into the Odinsleep, Thor." Loki said softly. Thor's eyes widened.  
>"What?" his brother said softly. They both knew how long the Odinsleep could last. It could be years, or even ages before Odin would wake up. If they didn't find some way to get Thor his hammer and powers back, only Odin would be able to lift the banishment. But the Allfather couldn't do a thing when he laid in his Odinsleep.<p>

"He has held it off for so long now. But the threat of a war was too great…" _And let's not forget that I yelled at him that he favoured you over me… the abandoned Frost Giant… _Loki thought, but he pushed the thought away. It was very convenient for the Allfather to fall into the Odinsleep in that moment, wasn't it? Instead of having to face up to Loki, to be confronted with the decisions from the past… it could be years before Odin woke up. Years of not having to fear confrontation, years of peace….

Loki swallowed heavily.  
>"The burden of the throne falls to me now." he said softly. His voice was a bit hoarse and he cleared his throat, but it didn't dissolve the lump in his throat. He couldn't look at Thor, choosing to study the room instead. Not that there was much to study.<p>

"Loki."

Thor's voice sounded friendly, compassionate. Loki looked up hesitantly to see his brother smiling at him. Could irony be conveyed in a smile?

"You'll be a good king, brother." Loki blinked heavily to keep the tears that were threatening from falling. Thor seemingly had forgotten all about Jotunheim and the threatening war, and what Odin's absence might mean for Asgard, and Loki was grateful for that. Despite that, Loki felt the greatest urge to tell his brother about Laufey, about the Frost Giants, about the situation that he was in. But he couldn't find it inside himself to tell his brother everything.

It might be selfish, but Loki was too afraid of what his brother would think about him. Right now, Thor was convinced that Loki would be a good king. What would happen to that judgement when Thor learned that his brother wasn't his brother at all, but a Frost Giant? Frost Giants were the reason why Thor had been banished. Thor hated Frost Giants.

And Thor would hate him too, if he'd ever find out.

Loki swallowed back the bile that rose in his throat. He cleared his throat again, hoping that his voice wouldn't sound shrill and broken.

"I will do everything in my power to get you your hammer back, brother. I'm not sure if I can get you out of here without getting caught, but getting you out of here I can." he said. Freeing Thor was the least he could do. Which was why he was surprised to see Thor shake his head stubbornly.

"No."

"No?" Loki asked disbelieving. Thor grinned and nodded.

"It's all right, brother. I'll get out of here. There is something you can help me with, though…" Thor said slowly.

"Go on." Loki encouraged, irritated and impatient.

"There's this girl-"

"Oh, for the love of Yggdrasil…" Loki said sarcastically, sighing deeply. He rolled his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. He should've known…

"No, not like that!" Thor said hastily, though he sounded amused. "She drove me here, in one of those things with wheels. They call them carls or something like that… The people here took her stuff, her equipment I believe she calls them." he said.

Loki sighed. "Thor, I can do a lot, but I can't keep up this illusion and haul big, heavy objects out of here."

"No, no. She only needs a small book. A small, black leather book. If she has that, she'll be able to re-make her… equipment." Thor said. Before Loki could agree or disagree, Thor went on: "She's hiding outside the fence. I don't know if she's still at the place where I left her." Loki sighed again. Leave it to Thor to leave a girl defenceless in enemy territory. And to ask him to be a courier.

"I can do that. And I'll help you, like I said. This is going to work, I promise."

He paused for a few seconds, unsure what to say. "Goodbye, brother."

"Goodbye." he heard Thor whisper, while he walked out the door.

He shrouded himself in illusions, just before the man that he'd been impersonating came around the corner. The man didn't see him and Loki slipped past him quickly. Allowing himself but a few seconds to catch his breath, he went to locate the leather book. Forming an image in his head of what he thought it would look like, Loki concentrated his powers on finding it. It wasn't long before a hunch that it was stored in a locked room made itself known.

Unfortunately the hunch lead him to space that was well filled with people talking and laughing, and he stood before the door unsure of what to do. He could use his powers to unlock the door, but that would be noticed. He could try to summon the book right into his hands, but he wasn't sure what it looked like and he couldn't risk summoning some other book. Finally, he decided to risk it, and lifted his foot to step toward the door. When he put his foot down again, it was on the floor of the locked room. His eyes slid over the various books and other objects that seemed to be dumped randomly through the room, until they finally landed on the small book that his brother had spoken of.

He held it in his hands tightly and walked away quickly. He was going to help Thor get his powers back, he would make sure of that... He just hoped that there would be an Asgard to return to…


	9. Chapter 9

**The ninth chapter. Thanks to everyone who reviewed, favorited and alerted this story. **

**- - - And Ash Rained Down On Asgard: Chapter 9**

Thor hadn't told him what the girl's name was. Unfortunately, that meant that Loki scared her when he tapped on her shoulder. The girl would've screamed and drawn attention to them, if Loki hadn't covered her mouth with his hand. Of course, the girl thought that he was attacking her. He nearly doubled over when she kicked him right between the legs and bit into the palm of his hand.

He knew that if he would talk, his voice would be high-pitched and shrill, so he just pushed the book into her hands and fought hard to keep himself from bouncing on his feet from the pain. Her eyes widened when she saw the book. She opened it and began flipping through the pages, seemingly having forgotten Loki.

The god of Mischief rolled his eyes. She was easy to distract. If he'd wanted to attack her, she would be dead meat right now.

Loki cleared his throat, causing the girl's attention to snap back to him. The base were Thor was kept didn't have many lights on, and the light from the stars and the moon wasn't strong enough for him to discern any features. He _thought_ that she was a brunette, but he couldn't be too sure. Her eyes were almost colourless in the weak light. Still, he could see the happiness and excitement in them when their eyes locked.

She opened her mouth, to thank him, he assumed, and said:

"Did you see Thor? Is he all right?"

Loki sighed, suppressed the urge to roll his eyes and smiled reassuringly at her. "My brother is fine. He did not tell me your name, though."

The girl gasped. "His brother? That means you're Loki!"

Loki nodded, and wondered how much Thor had told the girl. Although it wasn't a law, telling Midgardians things about Asgard was discouraged most of the time. It wasn't that mortals couldn't be trusted with the truth, it was just that the other mortals never believed them.

Usually, mortals who knew the truth about the Nine Realms were locked away somewhere, because the other mortals believed them to be delirious. _Most_ of the time, whoever had told the mortal found out and got them out, but sometimes…

Not to mention the fact that it was a great and maddening burden, to know about a world unlike your own and not being able to share it with anyone, to always have to watch your words… Loki shook his head and forced himself to pay attention to the girl. He smiled.

"Yes, I am." he said. He wasn't sure what he was expecting her to do. He doubted that Midgardians still kneeled or bowed when they saw gods. They just all seemed so… arrogant and_ pre-occupied_, as if they were doing ten things at the same time… inside their heads.

"Oh, good." she sounded relieved.

"Do you know how to get his hammer back?" the human girl asked. She was beginning to get excited, and Loki almost cringed at the disappointment in her eyes when he shook his head.

"But I'll help… Unnoticed, preferably." he said. He feared that if he spent too much time around his brother, the guilt that was growing inside of him would break his resolve. It was better if his brother didn't know anything about his true nature. Loki didn't want to give his brother any more reasons to stand up against Odin. And most of all, he didn't want to make Thor feel like he had to choose. His father, or his adopted brother, a Frost Giant.

That was, of course, if Laufey didn't destroy Asgard before that. Then no-one would have to choose because they'd all be dead.

"Okay. That's good, I guess. Erik will be here soon to bail him out." the girl said. Loki nodded, although he had no idea who Erik was and she didn't elaborate any further. She began flipping through the book again, sometimes muttering to herself, things that Loki didn't quite understand. The book was obviously very important to her, though. He chuckled.

"I still don't know your name." he said. She looked up at him, slightly confused at first, but then her mouth fell open.

"Oh! Sorry, sorry. I'm Jane." she said quickly. She held out her hand, and Loki looked at it dumbly for a few seconds. It took him a few seconds of searching through his mind before he recalled that the Midgardians shook hands when they met. Asgardians did not do this: male friends would give each other a hard pat on the back and women embraced each other or kissed on cheeks.

After considering using the Midgardian gesture, he took her hand in his and brought it to his lips instead. The human girl blushed and Loki smirked.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Jane."

In the rock that held Mjolnir, a web of shallow cracks appeared.

**A-A-R-D-O-A**

Loki sat in his chamber in Asgard, cross-legged on the soft blanket on his bed. Apart from the library, it was the best place to think quietly without fear of being disturbed. He could not use an interruption right now, because he was trying to make plans. He had to figure out a way to get Thor his hammer back, while keeping Laufey convinced that he would help him murder the Allfather, without actually doing so. And he had to do something about Thor's friends, because they seemed convinced that Thor's banishment had been a part of some kind of master plan to get the throne. Loki sighed.

A headache loomed behind his eyes and he could barely keep them open. He hadn't slept much. He couldn't afford to sleep. He was constantly afraid that the Frost Giants would find their own way of traveling through the Realms, of getting to Asgard. There had to be some way for him to keep them from using the Bifrost, or the branches of Yggdrasil, or the hidden pathways that could only be used by mages… Or, at the very least, there should be some way for him to know when a Frost Giant entered Asgard. He perked up suddenly, barely able to keep a tired smile from appearing on his face. It was so simple that he wondered why he hadn't thought of it before.

He immediately winked away to a place where he could travel to Jotunheim unseen. He could've travelled to the Realm straight from his bedroom, but the farther away one was from his destination, the greater the chance that something would go wrong. And he didn't want to end up somewhere where the Frost Giants would see him immediately. What he was going to do would have to take place in secrecy. If Laufey found out, he would most likely kill Loki on the spot.

Unfortunately, he had forgotten to cloud himself from Heimdall's all-seeing eyes, and found the dark-skinned man looking at him sternly, with crossed arms, in front of the Bifrost where Loki had winked to. Loki sighed and suppressed the urge to roll his eyes. Heimdall would surely not take that lightly.

"I mean to travel to Jotunheim, to discuss the possibility of a truce." he said, although he feared that Heimdall wouldn't believe him. To his relief, however, Heimdall simply nodded and activated the Bifrost for his king. _He wants to know what I'm doing_. Loki thought to himself. He would shield himself immediately when he set foot in the cold planet. Although forming a small icicle from Jotunheim's snow didn't seem very suspicious, Loki decided that it would be better if Heimdall knew nothing about his visits. It would only lead to questions that he didn't have answers to.

Loki stepped into the Bifrost. A narrow tunnel made of every colour imaginable unfolded around him, and he was blasted into Jotunheim. Ironically, he landed headfirst into the snow and spent the first few seconds cursing the Bifrost. Then he got up and brushed the snow off his face and clothes, irritated greatly by the fact that his hands had turned blue and cold. He resisted the urge to cast an illusion over himself, so that he would look like an Asgardian again, and reasoned that looking at least somewhat like a Frost Giant would be beneficial. At first glance, he would hopefully look like a small Frost Giant - maybe a child – that was wearing clothes.

He conveniently forgot the fact that he'd never seen a Frost Giant wearing clothes.

He set off hoping to find a place where he would have some privacy and where there weren't any Frost Giants near.

No more than five minutes later, a miniature icicle hung on a silver chain around his neck.

He came back to Asgard through the Bifrost, and was greeted by Heimdall waiting for him with his arms crossed over his chest. Loki sighed and stopped in front of the Gatekeeper.  
>"What troubles you, gatekeeper?" he asked, although he had an idea about what it was.<p>

"I turned my gaze upon you in Jotunheim but could neither see you nor hear you. You were shrouded from me like the Frost Giants that had entered this realm." Heimdall said in his deep voice, eyeing Loki suspiciously. Fear crept upwards toward his heart when Loki realized that Heimdall could be figuring everything out.

"Perhaps your senses have weakened after your many years of service." he tried, although he knew that it wasn't the right thing to say, there was nothing else he could say except for admitting the truth.

"Or perhaps someone has found a way to hide that which he does not wish me to see." the big dark man said thoughtfully, leaning on his staff.

"You have great power, Heimdall. Did Odin fear you?" Loki asked, finally having thought of something.

"No." Heimdall said simply.  
>"And why is that?"<br>"Because he is my king, and I am sworn to obey him."  
>"He was your king. And you're sworn to obey me now. Yes?" Loki pressed, looking at the Gatekeeper intently.<p>

"Yes." Heimdall said, albeit a bit reluctant.

"Then you'll open the Bifrost to no-one! Until I have repaired the damage that my brother has done!" Loki said.

Having the Bifrost locked hadn't been his original intention, but now that he thought about it, Thor's friends might go to Midgard to help him. He was afraid that that would only make everything more complicated, and that Odin would punish them for it later. One Asgardian without powers was more than Midgard would be able to take.

And that way he just dug himself further and further into this mess, without knowing a way to get out of it.

**A-A-R-D-O-A**

"Okay, just let me type all this up." the human girl Jane said as she sat behind her computer, her eyes sparkling with excitement. Loki chuckled and plopped down on the old leather couch, which creaked in protest under his weight. He wasn't sure why he thought that being here would be helpful, but the human girl seemed adamant about figuring out a way to get Thor his hammer and powers back. And she was the only one that he could talk to that didn't believe him to be a pawn, a spy, or an usurper of the throne. It was a relief to be able to tell someone, even though he couldn't tell her the entire truth. But he _had_ told her about what had happened in Jotunheim, because Thor had been vague about it. Thor had been vague about a lot of it things, it would appear.

He watched as the girl typed on the device that she called a lap-top. Loki wasn't sure why it was called that when it was on a table, but he didn't ask.

"What exactly is it that you are typing?" Loki asked curiously, his interest sparked by her fingers that rapidly drummed on the keys of her laptop. Her fingers paused, hovering above the keys that they were about to push, and Jane glanced at him with a slight smile tugging at the corners of her lips.

"It's a log about Darcy's progression as my intern." she explained. "She writes something similar and at the end of her internship we compare it. Then she writes about what was the same and what was different and how she could've done things differently."

"Ah, so she can look back at it later and see how her methods of working have changed?" Loki asked. Jane nodded, surprised. Loki smiled. "That Asgardians do not have lap-tops does not mean that they don't keep track of things for future references, Jane." he said, slightly teasing. Jane smiled back but then turned her attention to her laptop again, so absorbed by it that she seemed to forget that he was there. He watched her for a few seconds but quickly got bored and found himself studying the room. There was a small fireplace with pictures of the human girl and her family on the mantle. Two of them must be her parents, since they bore resemblance to her. The other middle-aged man he wasn't sure of, but he thought that he might be an uncle of some sort.

"Okay, I'm done." Jane said before she closed her laptop and got up from her chair a few minutes later. She stopped halfway through a step towards the only couch in the living room and frowned. Loki saw it and frowned as well, wondering what had stopped her. His eyes drifted through the room and he realized that, besides the chair behind the computer, there were no other seating accommodations in the room. He chuckled and patted on the stop beside him, sliding away slightly so there would be some room between them. Jane smiled and gratefully sat down next to him, shifting slightly so they were facing each other. Her knee pressed against his leg but Loki thought nothing of it.

"So, why don't you want your brother to know that you're here?" Jane asked, sounding slightly confused. "I mean, I think he would feel a lot better if he knew that you're trying to help him." Loki sighed and shifted uncomfortably, causing their legs to brush against each other. Jane's light brown eyes darted toward them for a second and a light blush settled on her cheeks. Loki was too pre-occupied by fending off the thoughts that tried to convince him that there was no harm in directly helping his brother to notice.

"Helping my brother out in the open is not a good idea." Loki said, giving voice to his thoughts. "I don't know what kind of spell the Allfather has cast upon his hammer. Thor might need to become worthy on his own. If I, or anyone for that matter, help him he might never get his powers back."


	10. Chapter 10

**The tenth chapter. Thanks to everyone who reviewed, alerted and favorited this story.**

**- - - And Ash Rained Down On Asgard: Chapter 10**

"So why can't you illusion him into believing that… I don't know, someone important to him died?" Jane asked, a few days later after Loki had returned from Asgard. Loki raised his eyebrows and looked at her questioningly. Jane cringed and grimaced. "Wouldn't he feel guilty if he believed that his actions brought war to Asgard?" she asked. "Guilty enough to make him worthy again? Kings feel guilty when they do bad things." she pointed out.

Loki nodded thoughtfully while she talked, but at the end, he shook his head.  
>"I cannot make him believe that Asgard has been destroyed. It would devastate him. And I already told him that the Allfather lays in his Odinsleep, Thor would never believe that he died."<p>

"What if you tell him that Laufey killed your father, and that you killed Laufey to avenge him? That would make him feel guilty enough, and imagine how happy he'll be when he finds out that Odin never died." Jane said, threading dangerously close to what his plan with Laufey was. Loki was glad that he'd shrouded himself and Jane from Heimdall's view, even though this was just speculation. It might give Heimdall the idea that he should post extra guards at the Bifrost and in the palace, rendering his plan unusable.

He was suddenly confronted with the knowledge that Laufey would kill _anyone_ that stood between him and Odin, and that he wouldn't be able to do anything about it. He would give himself away if he stopped Laufey, and his only chance to kill the Frost Giant king would be when he was least expecting it.

He closed his eyes for a few seconds while Jane talked. Her words drifted past him and faded into the background, he barely heard what she said while a feeling of dread gripped his heart. Even if the Allfather believed Loki, he would still be responsible for the death of at least a few guards. The knowledge that Loki had been tricked into being a spy for Laufey would not bring the guards back to life or sooth their family's grief.

"Loki?" Jane asked suddenly, concerned. Loki felt bile rise in his throat and swallowed heavily. It burned, but the forced it down, just like he forced back the tears that threatened to well up.

"Yes?" he asked, when he was absolutely sure that his voice would be steady.

"Are you all right?" she asked, still concerned. "You looked really sad and alone."

Sad and alone were two words that described exactly how he'd felt since the moment that he'd set foot in Jotunheim. Loki pushed the memories and thoughts away and mustered up a smile. "I'm perfectly fine, Jane. I was just trying to think of a way to help my brother." he lied. Then, to change the subject, he leaned forward a little bit and asked:

"Did my brother explain the Nine Realms to you?"

The human girl nodded. "He did, but he only knew for sure where Asgard and Earth were. He kept getting confused between the other Realms. And he couldn't explain to me how Yggdrasil works, either." she said, frustration creeping in her voice.

Loki laughed. "Leave it to my brother to not know the positions of the Nine Realms he's supposed to rule over when he becomes king." he said sarcastically. It made Jane laugh, but more importantly it made her forget all about the previous subject.

"Allow me to properly explain what tutors have tried to teach my airheaded brother since he was five years old." Loki said, conjuring a piece of paper and a pencil with a dramatic wave of his hand. Mortals liked dramatics and to make big shows of everything, and he was more than happy to oblige. Jane's light brown eyes widened, even though she'd made him conjure up all kinds of things when he'd first stepped into her little house. He'd winked away back and forth between her kitchen and the living room, smirking when she ran into the room to only just catch him disappearing again. Only when she requested to be taken along did he have to deny her. He wasn't sure how a mortal would handle that kind of magical transportation, and he wasn't about to find out at that moment either.

He drew the Nine Realms in neat circles varying in size. Asgard was the biggest, while Vanaheim was the smallest with Midgard somewhere in between in size.

"This is Vanaheim." he said, while pointing at the midget planet. Jane stared at it and touched the drawing, her finger brushing past his.

"It's so small." she said, disbelief and wonder in her voice. Loki chuckled.

"That's because it's home of the dwarves." he joked. Jane's eyes widened.

"There's dwarves?" she asked, fascinated. Loki raised his eyebrows and nodded.

"Did my brother not tell you?" he asked, and Jane shook her head.

Loki pointed out the other Realms, hesitating when he reached Jotunheim.

"It's home to the Giants." he said finally, not telling her about his visits to the Realm, like he did with the other ones. The human girl was too enthralled with his explanation of the Realms to notice it.

"What's Muspelheim*?" she asked, struggling with the word, but pronouncing it quite well for a human. Loki smirked, knowing that she'd like this.

"It's a dying star. I believe you call it-"

"A Red Dwarf! Have you been there? Can you take me there? Because that would be-"

Loki laughed and held up a hand to cut her off.

"Muspelheim is land of flames and heat. You would not survive there." he said, the laugh still in his voice. Jane's heavy disappointment only widened his smirk.

"What's this one?" she asked after a few seconds, pointing to a medium-sized planet that he'd drawn in between Vanaheim and Muspelheim. Loki frowned at it for a few seconds, realizing that he'd drawn it out of habit.

"That's… Svartalfheim." he said. "It used to be home to the Dark Elves, before it was destroyed." Jane's eyes widened.  
>"Dark Elves as in <em>elves<em>?" she asked, disbelief colouring her voice. Loki laughed and nodded.  
>"That's… that's so cool. Darcy should hear this. If she were here, she'd be demanding that you take her there immediately."<p>

Loki chuckled. "Darcy sounds like an impulsive, impatient mortal whose curiosity would get her into trouble." he said. Jane laughed.

"Do you know her?" she asked, faking surprise. "Because you just described her perfectly."

Loki smirked. "It's good that she isn't here then." he said. "She would interrupt our work."

"Speaking of Darcy and work…" Jane said as she got off the couch and offered Loki her hand to help him up. Loki frowned, since he was perfectly capable of getting up himself, but let her anyway.  
>"We're taking Thor shopping today. He keeps destroying his clothes by getting in fights and other trouble. He came back one day covered in mud. Erik freaked out because he got stains on the carpet. For a very successful scientist, he seems very afraid of clutter and dirt in his house." she joked. Loki laughed, even though he didn't know this Erik person.<p>

"You could try that weird water thing and see if Thor jumps in front of people to protect them." Jane told him, while they walked to the door. Loki frowned.  
>"I could do that." he said thoughtfully. "But I would be shrouded in illusion, so you would not recognize me even if we happen to pass by."<br>Jane nodded. They exchanged goodbyes and Loki winked straight into his room at Asgard, pondering over the plan. The plan stood on wobbly legs, lacking balance and certainty, but anything more drastic was not something they could do.

**A-A-R-D-O-A**

The next day, they were exactly where Jane had told him they would be. Darcy dragged Thor into a store, babbling enthusiastically about articles of clothing that certainly didn't interest his brother, and Loki couldn't help but smile when he saw Jane looking around.

She was looking for him, but she wouldn't find him. He'd woven an illusion around himself that would make him appear like a simple tourist, although the illusion wasn't a strong one because the mortals wouldn't know the means to look through it. And, watching a woman with bright red and yellow hair walk past him, Loki reasoned that the mortals wouldn't pay him a second thought even if he looked a little strange to them.

Loki followed them when they came out of the store, and was amused by Jane. She tried to look around inconspicuously, but when he came close enough to be in earshot, he heard her chirpy intern ask:

"Hey Jane, you looking for someone or what?"

"No! I mean, yes… Erik said he'd be in town and I'd hoped we'd see him." she said hastily. Her intern did not look convinced. "Meh." Darcy muttered with a shrug, before she dragged his brother into another store. Jane looked around one more time and disappeared into the shop.

Loki waited, and waited, and waited for what felt like an eternity until they finally came out of the shop again. His brother looked like a mule with the amount of bags that he was carrying, and Loki could bet that not all of the clothes were for him. He smiled at the sight and followed them to the square in the middle of the town. Just as she'd told him, a big fountain sat on the middle of the square. Children climbed on the little wall and ran through the water chasing each other, laughing loudly. An elderly man sat on the wall with his walking cane laid over his legs and a young couple was sharing a bag of out-of-season strawberries. Loki concentrated and used illusions to make himself invisible.

Although the power of suggestion wasn't something that he was particularly good in, he still focused all of his power on the old man and the young children. It was difficult, but eventually he planted the suggestion that they should be elsewhere into their minds and was glad when the seeds took hold in the mortal minds. He prepared to use his power to make the fountain overflow and rain icicles down on everyone when he felt something cold fall on his head. He closed his eyes for a few seconds before looking up to see snowflakes rain down on him. No-one else would see them.

_I do not have time for you, Laufey._ Loki thought while he gritted his teeth. Leave it to the Frost Giant king to summon him at a time least convenient, as if he knew what was going on. He knew that if he didn't show up in Jotunheim soon, there would be repercussions. So he forced all of his power and thoughts into manipulating the water inside the fountain, and pushed as hard as he could.

A loud roar was heard before the fountain exploded and the water came rushing out, lashing out towards the sky as if in an attempt to reach the stars. People screamed and ducked out of the way, into stores and alleyways to dodge the broken stones that rained down on them. Jane delivered a quite convincing scream of horror and her intern shrieked even harder.

Thor's eyes darted over the crowd of the people that were running and laid on a small child that had lingered behind, his parents screaming for him to _run! get away from the water! run! _but the child didn't hear or didn't understand the danger.

Loki cursed inwardly when the child giggled and bended over to scoop up handfuls of water. His cries of happiness at watching the water flow through his fingers were drowned out by the roaring water that Loki was struggling to control.

_Brother, do something!_ Loki shouted in his mind, but Thor just stood there helplessly, looking around in hopes that someone would save the child. Loki sighed and decided that more drastic measures were in order, especially as the snowflakes that rained down on him seemed to become more persistent.

With a seemingly nonchalant wave of his hand, the water froze all over. People screamed, some yelled things while others just stared in wonder. His eyes fell on his brother and the two girls. Jane stared at the giant frozen wave in awe and Darcy's jaw dropped. Loki smiled slightly, until he realized that his airheaded brother _still hadn't moved_.

_Oh, for the love of Yggdrasil!_ Loki thought, before he curled his fingers inward a little. A thousand little cracks formed an intricate web on the frozen wave that stretched towards the sky, which sent the mortals into another terrified flurry of panic. It took all his willpower and strength to keep himself from shattering the wave at once, for every fibre in his body screamed for him to do it in a mighty explosion of strength. He realized at once that it was the Frost Giant in him, and resented himself for it.

Jane finally seemed to come to her senses and elbowed Thor in the side hastily.  
>"Thor! There's a little kid there!" she shrieked while she pointed to the child. Loki cringed at her terrible acting skills, but his brother was already on his way toward the five year-old. The child still didn't seem to understand what all the fuss was about, but did hear the grown-ups around him scream. He understood that <em>something<em> was wrong, and cried accordingly, wanting to be reassured by his parents.

Thor ran toward the child with surprising speed for a now-mortal and lurched forward to grab the little boy. Then he stopped, looking around uncertainly. Loki sighed impatiently and relaxed his fingers slightly, causing some of the icicles to fall off. His brother pulled the child against his chest, hunching over to protect the vulnerable young mortal. None of the icicles made it even remotely close to them and Thor returned the child to its parents, neither of them harmed in any way. Loki doubted that the child ever understood that he was in danger, if the kid remembered this at all when he became older.

Now that the child was out of danger and everyone quickly rushed into shops for cover, Loki found himself able to release the water. He watched as it fell back into the fountain and sopped through the layer of water on the ground to follow Thor, Jane and her intern. He purposefully ignored the snowflakes that had turned into hail now, banging on his head with violent force.

"Dude, that was _brave_! Someone should give you a medal! A child-saving-ice-fountain-braving-medal! For immortal-gods-turned-mortal…. person… something… whatever." Darcy beamed. Loki rolled his eyes and was glad that he was still invisible. Jane frowned, her light brown eyes distant. He dreaded to know what she was thinking, albeit he was a little curious. Most likely, she was angry with him for 'endangering' the young Midgardian, even though it had not been his intention at all.

"I'm sure _your father_ would be proud of you." Jane said a little too loudly, as if she expected the clouds to part on the spot and for the Allfather to fall from the sky to take his son back into the Realm.

Of course, such a thing did not happen and Loki frowned.

The Allfather laid in his Odinsleep and wouldn't make an appearance, but neither did Mjolnir, Thor's hammer. He had expected the armour at the very least, as a way to let them know that they were making progress. But nothing extraordinary happened and Loki wondered if he'd been right in his assumption that this was something his brother had to do alone.

Thor's expression fell. "I doubt saving the life of one Midgardian is enough to get my powers back." he said almost bitterly, voicing Loki's thoughts.

Loki sighed, shook his head, and winked out of existence.


End file.
